Called to Bible School (Life-changing Year)

I'm sure you have heard of the story of Saul's conversion into the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus. Well if you have not, Paul was a former Christian persecutor was converted into a Gospel preacher. He was heading in one direction but he had an encounter with Jesus Christ and as a result, his direction changed drastically (Acts 9:1-9). My story is similar to this... 

Sunday March 29, 2015 marked another milestone in my life. It was my fifth graduation exercise in my twenty-seven (27) years of life but I still had to fight back the tears because it was another special moment in my life. 

Being a full-time single mother, working full-time, the chairperson for two ministries at church, a MBA (Masters of Business Administration) student, along with the many other projects I manage. This was my life until April of 2014. Nowhere in my busy schedule or my many plans was bible school even in my thoughts. A friend of mine mentioned it but with my numerous activities it just could not fit in. Then I got the 'call'... Yes... I heard clearly the voice of God saying I should register for Portmore Bible Academy. I made excuses, I hesitated but I started to pray about it because the burden to sign up was getting heavy. I knew I had to be obedient so I decided to trust God to help me "juggle" all the things I had going on 

From the first day I stepped into that class, my life had never been the same. Pastor Peter Malcolm (Director, Founder, Facilitator, Shepherd, Mentor, and Confidant) was so warm and welcoming. He taught all the courses with enthusiasm, vigor, confidence and was Spirit-led. Attending bible school changed everything I thought Christianity was about ... My relationship with God grew stronger and my appetite for righteousness got deeper. The woman I was one year ago is definitely not the same woman I am today. 

Pastor Malcolm and I at graduation 

Some of the most life-changing courses for me included Foundation Doctrine, Stewardship, Practical Ministry, Theology of Purpose, Prayer, Praise and Worship, The Beatitudes, Cults and False Teaching and of course Faith (to name a few). Bible school wasn't just about taking notes and learning theoretical knowledge but the Word of God came alive every week that we met. From the testimonies, devotions, praise and worship sessions, presentations, retreat, anointing service and many discussions. Thursdays became my favorite day of the week because I looked forward to being into the presence of God and learning something new. 

When people hear about bible school, they start asking what my title is. I have no intention to become a Pastor, Reverend, Deaconess or anything of that sort. But I had no plan to even enroll in bible school either. I simply desired a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ and the Lord just turned my plans upside down and I just surrendered because His plans are far greater. I had to give up pursuing my MBA to focus on what God wanted me to do and not what I wanted to do. It really was a bit hard at first but the closer I got to God is the more I learned to trust that His ways are higher than mine. 

A lot of people also ask me about accreditation but God's Word cannot be limited to piece of paper and seeking acceptance of worldly standards. What bible school gave me was far deeper than what I could be taught in a regular theological college. Even though Pastor Malcolm was the facilitator, the Holy Spirit was our Teacher; we weren't taught doctrines but the dynamic Word of God was cemented on our hearts. 

What is next? I have no clue... Just like Paul that had no clue what His new journey would be like, so it is with me. I really just don't know... what I do know is, I must be obedient. So, I might be persecuted, abandoned or wrecked but I stand firm knowing that it will ALL be for the GLORY OF GOD!! 

Pictures from my graduation

 Fearfully and wonderful made...............

Deacon Francis, Pastor Bolt and Lady Bolt supporting me at graduation...

 Graduating Class of Portmore Bible Academy 2015

My beautiful daughter Christelle Garriques & I showing lots of love.....

To God be the Glory****

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

Being the Other Woman

The world that we live in glorifies being the 'other woman,' otherwise known as "matey or side chick."  Many of the dancehall songs we listen tell us it is okay, Spice tells us to 'Jim Screechy', Lady Saw tells us 'I've got your man'; and there are many other songs. The movies and TV shows like Scandal teach us how to be 'comfortable' with having a relationship with a married man and how and it's acceptable to 'steal or share' a man.

This is maybe one of the hardest blogs to post because this is never something any woman wants to accept and share; my mistakes, vulnerability and weakness. We women try our very best to appear to have it all together and never show our brokenness. But I am trying to accept that my life is not my own and everything that happened in my past can be used for God's glory and I pray this will minister to the heart of someone. 

I spent seven years being the 'other woman'. I had no issue at all with it. It wasn't a mistake neither was it something I was coerced into do. I chose it and I didn't see anything wrong with it. Of course, no woman expects to stay in that position for so long but I had no expectations. As stated in a previous blog Diary of a Single Woman, men only served two purposes: sex and reproduction. Besides, when I entered the 'situationship' I definitely wasn't ready to reproduce. I was a good 'matey' though- I sent him home when he needed to, I wouldn't call if he was around her and when she did find out that he was messing around, I denied it to make sure he didn't get into trouble (pathetic right.. smh).

When being the 'other woman', many of our friends would glorify it too. I mean how many friends will say that being the 'other woman' is wrong? Besides, even if they do, most times they are doing the same thing too. Again, nothing seemed wrong about it. And that's how life in SIN is like... Everyone in it accepts it. Think about it; fornication is accepted to the world, partying is the norm to the world, dressing half-naked is not wrong because many artistes sing about these things and many movies portray it. But the Word of God says, the road to destruction is so wide! (Matthew 7:13)

What is hidden though is the consequences of these sinful acts and decisions. No one talks about the harsh reality of being a single parent, no picture on facebook shows the many abortions done or the STIs contracted, no one talks about broken homes and heartaches of being betrayed when cheated on or when you party all weekend then can't find fare to go to work the following week. Who sings about these things? Nobody.

Growing up in a society where common-law relationships have gotten legal status, teenage pregnancy rampant and almost acceptable, being a virgin is deemed non-existent, dressing half-naked is a norm and if you are not having sex then you are an outcast; the term 'worth' has gotten a new meaning. Your worth is determined by your level of education, the car you drive, the amount of money in your bank account, your job, your relationship status and this determines if you feel you are accepted by people.

Women can pretend all they want as if they are okay with their men having another woman as long as they are 'wifey'  but it's a Lie! You are not a wife, if he has not put a ring on that finger. All he is doing is playing both you and the other woman. Whether you are a teenage girl or an older woman, if you had any idea how precious you are and how much you are worth to God then you would not be comfortable having sex with a guy who is not committed to you. He says he loves you, but what does that mean exactly? When he verbally abuses you, physically abuses you and even if you think well that doesn't go for me because we live together and he is good to me then what's stopping him from marrying you. And please don't tell me you don't want to marry.. psshh (you can only fool yourself). That man will not commit or marry you because he isn't sure if you are worth it. And if he has another woman it's because you cannot fulfill his desires nor can you make him happy.

ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT!! 

Now, don't think I am any better than you because I am a Christian now and I have decided that I won't have sex until I am married. The difference is, I've learnt over time how much I am worth to Jesus Christ, and if a guy doesn't love God, then he is not capable of loving me. But that's just me. What about you?

- Are you the other woman? If you are, then you are accepting that you are not worth anything but being second. And guess what? You are not even second because when you are the other woman; his job, his car, his children.. everything and everybody comes before you. You are merely there for sexual pleasure only. Once, the sex stops what other purpose do you serve? You may say but Crystal that's all I want to be.. really now? We will say this over and over until we actually start convincing ourselves but deep down you wished that man was yours. And if you are with him just for his money then maybe that man isn't the problem (it could be you). 

- Are you the 'wifey'? He lives at home with you and you take care of his every need, but you have still have not gotten the ring. I am sorry to say this, but that man is just not convinced that you are the one. So, all the promises he is making are just promises which can be broken at any time and when he does leave, you will spend the rest of your life regretting the time you invested in him. 

It's time to know your worth. God loves you so much that He sent His son to die for you, not saying a man should die to be with you but, he must be willing to give up something if you are worth anything to him. Ladies seem to be the ones who are usually compromising. How many single fathers are there? Yes, you have them, but according to the US Census data 82%  are single mothers. Our decision to be the other woman or accept 'wifey' which leads to pregnancy outside of marriage not just affects us when that man moves on, but it affects our children (fatherless) which contributes to so many social issues in our country now (crime, rape, suicide, teenage pregnancy). 

It's time to be wise... Please... We need to start making better decisions and stop allowing men to manipulate us with this love talk, material things and continuous broken promises. 

I said this in my last blog and I will repeat:

I encourage you ladies to find your worth. It is in Christ! No man can make you feel as special or complete as a relationship with God makes you feel. 

If we as women do not demand men to step up, then they won't. If we provide for them, if we give them sex whenever, if we take on a man's role, then he simply won't have any reason to pull up his socks and do better. We need to start demanding our MEN to take their place back in our church, home and society. They (not all but most) obviously  are not self-motivated enough to be better men, so we MUST demand it! 

I don't share this to condemn or judge anybody because, I spent many years doing the same thing. No amount of education, money or titles can teach you worth! I found my worth in Christ and; now that I am a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17), I try not to condemn myself and simply accept that without knowledge our people perish (Hosea 4:6) and since I know better now, I simply feel burden to share, encourage and empower women so we can love ourselves more and make better decisions that will impact our family and our society. Our decisions have consequences. 

If you didn't trod this path of being the "other woman" or "wifey", don't be judgmental either because as women we all face different issues and we must learn to encourage and pray for each other and not criticize and condemn one another. 

God loves you so much... and I do too:-)

To God be the Glory****

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

Diary of a Single Woman

Went on a date with Jesus:-) 

With Valentines' Day behind us, the constant struggle between single individuals is when they will meet their spouse, get married and live a promising life with their family.  Now, as I  have shared before, I don't talk about relationships because as far as I know I have always been single. Yes I had sex, had a child, been on many (too many) dates, fell in love but I would call all of those things, "situation-ships". 

To be honest, I really was too focused on having a sound education and steady career so paying attention to a real long-term relationship was not priority for me. Furthermore, the concept of an "independent" woman aided in influencing this priority of mine as men only served the purpose for sex and reproduction for me (I was a sad case). Now that you have grasped,  hopefully, a background of my former mind-set, it leads to this blog that the Lord placed on my heart. 

I gave up living a sexual immoral (fornication) life in October of 2013, I started getting convicted many months before but thought it was impossible to let go of this lifestyle. I wasn't brave enough to take the step. But after I researched (spend a lot of time on Google) why I should not have sex before marriage and acquired tips on how to stop fornicating I was convinced that was time to surrender to God's plan for my life. Of course, no one took me serious but I was so sure that, I had enough of that lifestyle and I would much rather wait on God to send me a husband before I crossed that path again. 

Now, when I got baptized I never dated any Christian guys, I mean the ones I knew they weren't  much different from most guys in the world so I was convinced that I could just date a guy then take him church and try change him instead (I would not recommend this at all, but will blog about unequally yoked a next time).

Since I really started walking with God, I have learnt some principles  that I believe I am really led to share with other women. 

Lessons of Being a Godly Woman 

1) I used to think the guys in church and the guys in the world were the same because ALL they wanted was SEX. But I was totally wrong! When I was baptize and was still partying and living a sinful life, no TRUE Christian man would never date me (ouch!). It's true though. I've met men of God over the past year and these men knew what they wanted in a godly wife. They did not want a woman who tried to impress them with education or achievements, but he wants a godly woman who pursues Christ and not out partying, wearing half-naked clothes, gossiping and on social media flaunting. But even in thinking about the worldly men, they will have sex with the girls who choose to show off all their 'assets' but he would not choose her as a wife. He too is looking for the decent girl and sometimes we try compare and say but she is not as "hot" as we are and begin to degrade her but MEN (godly or worldly) wants a woman of class! 

Like seriously, I just love seeing real men of God worship... I mean, there is something about a man who is vulnerable to God. He outshines all of the men in three-piece suits, Nike sneakers or even drive an Audi. (Forgive me, I just had to add that)...

2) Then I come down to how we ladies carry ourselves.. Now, I loved short shorts. I mean I think I have the cutest legs ever plus it's far more comfortable because pants  generally makes me feel hot. Soon after, the Lord told me to give up my party attires and so I began to dress modestly.  I had a picture on my WhatsApp in a dress (I didn't think it was short) but one of my godly male friends said 'why your dress have to short and tight suh".  [For those of you who are not Jamaica, he basically was asking me why my dress was so short]. I was a bit embarrassed because he is someone I truly respect. He further explains that as a man, what they can see on a woman's body they think they can have access to. He reminded me also that I should not be a stumbling block to other men plus I must be cognizant of the fact that I am a woman of God and whether I want to accept it or not, how I dress affects my ministry (Reality check). 

3) Now, before Christianity I wasn't really 'sold' on the whole marriage thing. It just seemed like too much to deal with so I accepted I just want one daughter and possibly adopting children, but I didn't have a 'dream' wedding as normal young ladies would. Being a Christian, my mind has been renewed. I don't get up thinking about husband (as I said I used to being single, I like my own company a little too much) but now I've seen many examples of wonderful Christian couples (not perfect) but it blesses my heart to see a Christian family and it is now a desire of mine. So, my church sisters would say Crystal you need to pray for a godly husband so I started to do that. 
Honestly, GOD put me to shame when I expressed this desire. I say put me to shame because God was like (a) 'Crystal all you know to do is move on when something not going your way, in marriage you can't move on or run away' .... DANG, LORD!! (b) 'Crystal marriage ain't about just having legal sex and having pretty babies, Marriage is a ministry and you must have a purpose!' ....WOII LORD (c) 'Crystal you know you must be submissive right... SAY THAT AGAIN LORD! (d) Being a Godly wife starts long before you say 'I do', it starts when you surrendered your life to to me (Savior) and I (God) will mold you into a suitable helpmate for my servant (a man of God)... REALLY LORD!! 

These four revelations really had me 'wowed'.. It's like everything I thought I knew about relationship and marriage was null. Then I kept hearing about Proverbs 31 woman and Titus 2 Woman and I am like this is too much for me to deal with. Marriage is 'big people' thing!  With the divorce rate at fifty percent, I certainly don't want that be a part of the statistics. But then the Lord spoke peace into my heart and reminded me when I lean on Him, trust Him and seek Him wholeheartedly, He will prepare me to be a Godly Woman to partner in righteousness with a Godly Man that He (God) wants to be my husband. 

It can be a bit annoying everybody keep asking about me not dating but truly I am not thinking about it. I genuinely left that desire to God and will allow Him to deal with that aspect of my life. I made enough bad choices! 

Matthew 6:33 says 'Seek Him first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL other things will be added.' Honestly, I am really too busy doing God's work and trying to be a godly woman, godly mother and true servant. If God says next year or never for a husband, I am truly comfortable with His plan because it must be for my best interest. 

In the meanwhile, I will continue to encourage you ladies to find your worth. It is in Christ! No man can make you feel as special or complete as a relationship with God makes you feel. 
Please start to pursue purity (in mind, heart and body) that means stop giving up sex before a guy put a ring on it. Matthew 5:8 says 'Blessed are the Pure in Heart for they shall see God' - that means if you are not living a pure life then you won't ever be united with your Creator. 

If we as women do not demand men to step up then they won't. If we provide for them, if we give them sex whenever, if we take on a man's role then he simply won't have any reason to pull up his socks and do better. We need to start demanding our MEN to take their place back in our church, home and society. They (not all but most) obviously  are not self-motivated enough to be better men so we MUST demand it! 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

We are too SELFISH... We need to REFOCUS!!

A few weeks ago I attended my church's annual Youth Retreat. It has been something I was looking forward to because the Lord showed me that He had work for me to do. The theme was 'Am I Satisfied?' A very timely theme to help us Christians understand where we are in our journey with Christ. It was a blessed weekend but I left very concerned. I am concerned about the youths of this world, because I remember when I was in the world. I had no concern about eternity, I just wanted "successful" life. This means I have a nice husband, car, house, beautiful children, some day get my doctorate and of course a top management position making good money and living comfortable. When I came to Christ, as I said before I got my "free ticket" to heaven so this was even better because I would have achieve all these dreams and have a happy life... Sounds good right? 

Well, for the past couple of days I've been under some real spiritual attacks. I can't sleep at nights! I pray, I read my Bible but I could feel the fear and anxiety spirit in my house and no matter how I tried to cast it out I just still wasn't at peace. So, yesterday morning I went on my knees and started saying Lord, I need your peace. Tell me what's happening!! 

I cried out to God and of course He answered and this is what He wants me to share with you. 

PEOPLE ARE LOST... PEOPLE NEED HELP.... PEOPLE NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many of us, like myself have been so caught up with ourselves and achieving our own dreams and plans that we barely stop to consider anybody else. The Lord showed me my heart last night, yes it's good that I am sharing the Gospel on facebook...Yes its good that I can pray for people.. Yes it's good that I lead ministries but is that really enough? 

It may seem like it's enough to other people but really and truly it's not enough for what I can do for GOD! 

I have been a bit down because I started my MBA last year, stepping out in faith even though I didn't have any funds and prayed and trusted that GOD would have provided the funds for me to complete it. Instead, last August I had to stop going to classes because I could not find the rest of the tuition to complete it. So, no matter how much I prayed the door just seemed shut. I wanted a MBA because I know it would enable me get a better job, then I would be able to change my car to something nicer and provide better for myself and Christelle, so when I stopped it was hard for me to accept. 

But last night, ALL my selfishness came before me. Yes, I was seeking God but on my prayer list I was still praying to God provide for me to finish my MBA, God please help me change my car, Lord while you at it give me a 'nice clean' man of God to be my husband. A lot of my prayers were about me, me and my 'successful' life. So, you are maybe thinking what's wrong with that Crystal? God says we should ask and it shall be given. Nothing is wrong with me wanting things but I was too focus on CRYSTAL! 

WHILE SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE HEADING TO HELL!! 

And I am so busy focusing on temporary things! 

Believers, we are TOO BUSY focusing on ourselves and not doing what is more important to God**

We live in such a broken world... Everyday babies are dying, hundreds of car accidents, people being killed all over the world for choosing Jesus, many are dying of hunger, millions of babies are being aborted, females are forced into drugs and sex trafficking, being raped, people are being murdered, HIV/AIDS rising, more homosexual laws are taking over, no devotions or prayers are allowed in schools... The world is coming to an END but all you care about is watching Scandal, Kim Kardashian, Grammy's, Fifty Shades of Grey and not realizing what you are feeding yourself is leading you to a path of HELL! 

The Word of God says the road to destruction is wide and the road to righteousness is narrow. That means all the things we are so focused on to prove to the world that we living a 'successful' life will ALL be in vain without a real relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Most of us only want God for what He can give us. We want miracles, blessings and favor but we forget about the suffering. We think suffering is not having a car or a job. We think suffering is when our loser boyfriends break up with us or our girlfriends cheat. WE ARE DISTRACTED!! WE ARE LOST!! 

Our days are numbered and this body will die but our soul will live on - either in HELL suffering or Heaven in peace with God. But we behave like we have time to get things right. YOU ARE WRONG! NOW IS THE TIME TO SEEK GOD. 

Believers, many of us will go to church every Sunday and will still go to hell because we weren't living as we ought to. We are too concerned about ourselves. We are concerned about migrating to USA for a 'better life'. We are concerned about how many 'likes' our facebook and instagram photos get. We are concerned that we don't miss the next episode of Scandal, Empire or Being Mary Jane. We are concerned that we find a husband (even if that's not the man God wants for you but your clock is ticking so you want any man that calls himself a Christian). We care about OURSELVES! Even if you post a few statuses about God on facebook it's not enough. We must be on our face daily praying for our friends and family and the World because we need JESUS!! Get on your knees Christians!  

Non-Christians, you keep thinking you have all the time in the world. You are so in love with this man that you want to give your life to the Lord but you don't want to lose him so you choose your boyfriend (that won't ever marry you) for GOD. You see Christians and think we are lame because we are not partying and having sex while you are drinking and "enjoying" your way straight to destruction. Men, you think money, drugs, tattoos and lots of girls are the answers yet even when you drink ten bottles of Hennessy, you are still empty and suffering in silence because you never realized that reaching to the top was so lonely.

Friends... Please open your eyes! God is knocking on your door. He wants to free you from Satan's bondage of lies, deceit and destruction. Accept His gift of Salvation TODAY!! 

You are so precious to HIM.. Jesus died for you even though you reject HIM. He loves you still and He is waiting with wide arms for you to run to HIM. 

Lord, I pray that my main focus will be on your work and not what I want but your righteous and your kingdom; I seek you more than everything else in this life. 

I pray that these words don't fall on deaf ears but you will take heed to this warning. It's not judgmental or condemning thoughts but I am really concerned about you my friend. God is calling you and this could be your last chance. 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

Conquering Fear in High Heels

A couple months ago my church hosted a 3-Day Evangelism Street meeting in the Kencot community; and I was asked to give a testimony. Now, as a Christian one of the things that comes naturally is giving a testimony because it really blesses the hearts of people and encourages unbelievers that we serve a Great Big Wonderful GOD. But for some reason when asked I said NO. In my head, all I kept thinking was we are on the road, possibly many of the persons I partied with who knew me when I lived in sin will be there and what will they think? Honestly, FEAR took me over. 

Driving home after the first night of the meeting, I got really convicted. I felt like I disappointed God so I started to pray. As I prayed, I was reminded of  2 Timothy Chapter 1 verse 7 - "For God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline". 

That means if the Word of God says I have power then I "HAVE" power to trample on fear. This led to a message I was inspired to write, which I am now sharing with you--- Conquering Fear in High Heels!

I am a super big fan of high heels! As I reflected on what this message meant, three steps came to me on how I can use something that comes so natural (walking in high heels) to conquer the fears that may plague me. 

Fear is one of the biggest stronghold in any human life. We fear failure, death, heartbreak, losing our jobs etc. Single people fear not finding their true love, Married people fear divorce or being cheated on, Men fear not being able to provide for their family and the list goes on. When fear is our motivation to act or not act we have to learn to check or recheck ourselves because that fear will stop us from getting many opportunities if we allow it.

Satan has really used this emotion to cripple Christians and the world. But, God has equipped us in His word to trample on fear and conquer our stronghold. So what does this have to do with high heels?

1) Step Out of Your Comfort Zone - If you decide to put on a 5 inch heels then its not as comfortable as walking barefooted. In a 5 inch heels you are elevated five feet higher than if you were barefooted. You may ask Crystal what can 5 inches do? Think if you want to reach in the cupboard for ketchup, if you tipped on your toes, you get an extra 2 inches and then you might be able to reach it. It seem small but you actually get the ketchup you wanted aye? In other word, the "5 inches" gained on your current height gives you an elevation to reach something you couldn't normally. Going back to fear, if you elevate (raise or lift or upgrade) your thoughts and take a step you would be surprise how quicker you will get to your destination. But you first must step out of your comfort zone. For example, I need a new job - your '5 inches' could mean Step Out and register for a new course to upgrade your skills, get help with your interviewing techniques, go out and get your 'power" outfit, actually APPLY for the job etc. 

Get out of the same level of doubt, raise yourself by stepping into that "5 inch"and step out of that comfort zone.

2) Keep your Eyes on your Destination - When you are in the heels, you are now forced to walk a certain way. You cannot put on a 5 inch heel and walk as though you are barefooted or you will trip over. You are now forced to walk with an ounce of confidence, because you certainly don't want to fall when passing that handsome guy:-) Similarly with fear, even when we know we don't always have it together, you must trod with some confidence (even if we have to fake it initially). Think of the Story of Peter stepping out in the water, he was going so well until he lost the confidence in Christ then he started to sink. It's similar with us, once we start allowing the distractions and doubts to kick in then we start to lose our "confidence" and we get back to that place of fear or sometimes sink even further. We lose sight of where we intended to go. Of course, please note.. once Peter took his eyes off the destination, he lost confidence. Keep your eyes on the destination!! 

3) Practice makes you more confident - Practicing constantly walking in your 'heels' (faith). The more practice, the more confident you become. After you've started walking elevated and confidently, the high heels get more comfortable. You build your faith by applying it to small things and as you exercise your faith more often then you will be able to do greater things. 
When Jesus walked on the water, he trod confidently because He knew His destination plus He knew He has power, love and a sound-mind to trample on fear. (Of course, He is GOD so He can do anything) but we can follow Christ by truly trusting in the God we serve and practice taking faith to build your confidence.

So, I tried these steps that night and I gave my testimony. Once, I stepped out of my comfort zone and took the mic, I kept my eyes on the destination which was to share the wonderful things the Lord has done in my life and even though I was nervous at first, the more I spoke the more confident I became and I was able to Conquer that Fear in my High Heels. 

Doesn't make sense to you? Hush!! Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

FAITH conquers Fear!!

The thing with fear is, once you conquer it in one area it creeps up on other areas but I am now constantly trying to remind myself of these steps because there is so much more than I can do  and achieve once I conquer certain fears. 

So, I encourage you to "Put on your High Heels" - pray and ask the Lord to guide you as you take each step towards conquering your fear. You will step out not as yourself but as an elevated and confident woman. After awhile, it will come natural! 

 To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

Caring... Sharing... Giving...(My Challenge to you)

Sitting at my desk after work... Listening to sermons and thinking... Lord, what is my purpose?
For over a year I've been asking myself this question and I am yet to come up with one definite answer. Reflecting on the Crystal I was in January 2014, she is surely not the same person. The spiritual growth is amazing and surprising, even for me. I would hear over and over that God has a calling on my life, but understanding what that meant would take a courage I never thought I possessed.

What I do now, is my passion... My passion to help everyone (which can be a weakness some people may consider) but for me it just comes naturally. It truly breaks my heart to see a young lady unable to achieve her full potential because of lack of funds, support or even the self- motivation. It truly breaks my heart to see a child being abused, robbed of their dreams or just cast aside by society. It truly breaks my heart to see young men refusing to step up to fulfill their roles as leaders, fathers and providers. Then I am constantly reminded, I am one person, so what can I do?
I mean, I myself lack the resources and funding to really help, so what can I really do?

I remember growing up, I always wanted to be a Politician. For me, that was the best way to have access to enough resources to help as much people as possible. Growing up in the 'ghetto', not many persons had parents like mine who pushed their children to get the best possible education. For us, that was the way out. Education is the key to success!! So, I grew up driven. But that's me.. What about the young lady in the inner city whose mother doesn't know any other way than go to school to ninth grade then go "look a wuk" or the young lady who thinks having a man is the answer to her problems, 'as long as him a mine me it nuh matter?'.  What about the young man who knows no other way out than stealing, killing, smoking, partying and survival of the fittest?
Plus people outside of the inner city would look down on 'ghetto' people and scoff and pass harsh judgement. But we know socialization can affect our lives drastically (not going into that).

Then, I think about Christianity. What role do Christians play? Someone comes to church, we try to convince them to get saved or baptized, they have no job or no income earner, not sure where the next meal is coming from but all we have to offer is Prayer!! That cannot be the case. After the church service, people still have real issues and we know our God can change every and any circumstance, but aren't we His disciples? Aren't we called to love as Christ loves us?

It cannot be that every Sunday I go to church praying, listening to sermons, singing and worshiping God, but Monday to Saturday we are busy with our own lives. Yes, many of us are ministry leaders, deacons and pastors, but outside of the church walls, we are not God's servants.

If we say we are daily trying to be like Jesus, we must do more. We must care more. Our lives cannot be so consumed by our career, education, material success and our own family. Everywhere Jesus went, He fed the people, He healed the sick, He offered practical assistance as much as He can. This is what we should also imitate.

Yes, we can comment ALL day about what the Politicians are not doing but what are we doing as Christians? I love the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats in Matthew 25:31-46 (please read it) -- This parable tells us it's not just what we do that gets us into heaven. Even if we keep all the commandments and go to church every Sunday and participate in every church event we are considered a true Child of God, but what didn't we do that we ought to. This includes feeding the hungry, giving someone clothes who needs it, overall helping someone else that is in need. 

I don't know... Maybe it is me... But I really believe there is more for us to do. I remember in High School, I didn't have lunch money ever so often, but my best friend at the time would never let me go hungry. Even if we shared one patty, her heart of kindness and her generosity still impacts me even today.

Think about how somebody's act of kindness has impacted you.......Then.....
Imagine how your act of kindness can make a major impact in someone else's life. 

So, even if you not rich or in a big job, there is even one person you can share something with. Yes, we MUST continue praying for people, we MUST continue sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ to all lost souls, but we also MUST share our resources including our time, talents, money and possessions to people in need. 

Going back to the beginning.. What is my purpose? I  am still searching.. but in the meantime I will live through my passion of helping, serving and giving as my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ did:-)

I leave these scriptures with you....

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

Purpose behind my Pain

Many of us live on social media living in a facade. We post these flawless pictures, we say the proper things and it appears like we have it all together. 
In reality, we don't!! 
Many of us are hurting, many of us are insecure, many of us are confused, fearful and living in deep regret.

I remember when the Lord placed it on my heart to start blogging, all I could think about is Lord everybody will see my weakness, know my bad decisions and realize sitting behind the computer lies so much imperfection. It took me months to accept that I am called to share my story, not because I really wanted to but because every story shared will show God's glory. 

We all have a different story, we all have the issues we face daily, fears we try to conquer and insecurities we refused to let go off. As women, the pain we feel sometimes is so devastating we don't believe we can get through it. We question God... why do I have to feel like this... why does this have to happen to me..Lord, am I such a bad person? 
Tears flowing, heart racing, every fiber in our body wants to take the last breath because maybe the end of our life would mean the end to this pain. 

There are so many contributors to our pains: Why am I not as pretty or successful as her? Why don't I get more lunch money? Why does my parents have to be so poor? Why do I have to go to my bed hungry? Why don't my parents love me more? Why is he hitting me if he says he loves me? What did I do to cause him to rape me or molest me? What am I doing so wrong why he can't stop cheating? Lord, why did my mother or father had to die? Why don't I have any friends? Why am I broke and I just got paid? Why is this neighbor so harsh towards me? Why am I stuck in the same place for so long? Why am I so lonely? Why does my boss hate me so much? Why can't I provide a better life for my child (children)? Why am I hurting so much? Why doesn't my husband understands me? Why do I have everything yet I still feel so empty? Why as I take 2 steps forward, I get pushed back 5 steps back? Why am I diagnosed with this sickness? When am I getting married? Why doesn't anyone love me?
 LORD, if you are soooo GOOD then why are you allowing this to happen to me and You say You LOVE me? 

As I write this blog, I admit I don't want to post this because people will see my brokenness, inadequacy and weakness. And come on, I am maybe the strongest person I know. But I hear a whisper.. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - " But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.""

WOW!!! Lord... I didn't even know this was in the Bible, that because of your power, in my weakness, I am being made strong. Because of your love, because of your grace.. I can endure. 

No matter how much make up we use to hide the tears, no matter how much Brazilian hair we wear, no matter how expensive or how nice our clothes are, no matter how attractive our personality seem... It cannot take away the pain. We are all going through something. We are battling daily. BUT we have a GOD that says 'Cast your cares on Him" (2 Pet.5:7). We can't move on until we accept that we are still hurting, that we are still angry, that we are still depressed, that we still haven't forgiven... It's so hard to just let it go! It's so hard to seem vulnerable! It's so hard Lord... It's so hard!! 

God will not allow the pain that you may have experienced throughout your life to be wasted. God will allow that pain that you have experienced to prepare you for your purpose and your destiny. Often times it is in the midst of our pain that we find our purpose. 
It is in the intense moments of our trials and tribulations that we make the choice to either give up and quit or persevere.

This post is not just for you, but it's for me. Going through my own broken period wondering where the tears are coming from but still have peace as I release it to Him. I know I am being healed. 

You can be healed my friend.. Just pour it out to Him. 
He reminds me there is Purpose Behind My Pain. 
I am reminding you, there is purpose behind your pain.

Somebody's life will be blessed. Somebody will be set free. Somebody will be convicted. 

We all have a calling on our life.. The Lord has purpose behind your pain.. God can heal the wounds... He can heal your broken heart (Ps.147:3)... 

Fear cannot isolate you, if you allow God's perfect love to surround you!!!!!!! 

I pray this song encourages you....

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com