Diary of a Single Woman

Went on a date with Jesus:-) 

With Valentines' Day behind us, the constant struggle between single individuals is when they will meet their spouse, get married and live a promising life with their family.  Now, as I  have shared before, I don't talk about relationships because as far as I know I have always been single. Yes I had sex, had a child, been on many (too many) dates, fell in love but I would call all of those things, "situation-ships". 

To be honest, I really was too focused on having a sound education and steady career so paying attention to a real long-term relationship was not priority for me. Furthermore, the concept of an "independent" woman aided in influencing this priority of mine as men only served the purpose for sex and reproduction for me (I was a sad case). Now that you have grasped,  hopefully, a background of my former mind-set, it leads to this blog that the Lord placed on my heart. 

I gave up living a sexual immoral (fornication) life in October of 2013, I started getting convicted many months before but thought it was impossible to let go of this lifestyle. I wasn't brave enough to take the step. But after I researched (spend a lot of time on Google) why I should not have sex before marriage and acquired tips on how to stop fornicating I was convinced that was time to surrender to God's plan for my life. Of course, no one took me serious but I was so sure that, I had enough of that lifestyle and I would much rather wait on God to send me a husband before I crossed that path again. 

Now, when I got baptized I never dated any Christian guys, I mean the ones I knew they weren't  much different from most guys in the world so I was convinced that I could just date a guy then take him church and try change him instead (I would not recommend this at all, but will blog about unequally yoked a next time).

Since I really started walking with God, I have learnt some principles  that I believe I am really led to share with other women. 

Lessons of Being a Godly Woman 

1) I used to think the guys in church and the guys in the world were the same because ALL they wanted was SEX. But I was totally wrong! When I was baptize and was still partying and living a sinful life, no TRUE Christian man would never date me (ouch!). It's true though. I've met men of God over the past year and these men knew what they wanted in a godly wife. They did not want a woman who tried to impress them with education or achievements, but he wants a godly woman who pursues Christ and not out partying, wearing half-naked clothes, gossiping and on social media flaunting. But even in thinking about the worldly men, they will have sex with the girls who choose to show off all their 'assets' but he would not choose her as a wife. He too is looking for the decent girl and sometimes we try compare and say but she is not as "hot" as we are and begin to degrade her but MEN (godly or worldly) wants a woman of class! 

Like seriously, I just love seeing real men of God worship... I mean, there is something about a man who is vulnerable to God. He outshines all of the men in three-piece suits, Nike sneakers or even drive an Audi. (Forgive me, I just had to add that)...

2) Then I come down to how we ladies carry ourselves.. Now, I loved short shorts. I mean I think I have the cutest legs ever plus it's far more comfortable because pants  generally makes me feel hot. Soon after, the Lord told me to give up my party attires and so I began to dress modestly.  I had a picture on my WhatsApp in a dress (I didn't think it was short) but one of my godly male friends said 'why your dress have to short and tight suh".  [For those of you who are not Jamaica, he basically was asking me why my dress was so short]. I was a bit embarrassed because he is someone I truly respect. He further explains that as a man, what they can see on a woman's body they think they can have access to. He reminded me also that I should not be a stumbling block to other men plus I must be cognizant of the fact that I am a woman of God and whether I want to accept it or not, how I dress affects my ministry (Reality check). 

3) Now, before Christianity I wasn't really 'sold' on the whole marriage thing. It just seemed like too much to deal with so I accepted I just want one daughter and possibly adopting children, but I didn't have a 'dream' wedding as normal young ladies would. Being a Christian, my mind has been renewed. I don't get up thinking about husband (as I said I used to being single, I like my own company a little too much) but now I've seen many examples of wonderful Christian couples (not perfect) but it blesses my heart to see a Christian family and it is now a desire of mine. So, my church sisters would say Crystal you need to pray for a godly husband so I started to do that. 
Honestly, GOD put me to shame when I expressed this desire. I say put me to shame because God was like (a) 'Crystal all you know to do is move on when something not going your way, in marriage you can't move on or run away' .... DANG, LORD!! (b) 'Crystal marriage ain't about just having legal sex and having pretty babies, Marriage is a ministry and you must have a purpose!' ....WOII LORD (c) 'Crystal you know you must be submissive right... SAY THAT AGAIN LORD! (d) Being a Godly wife starts long before you say 'I do', it starts when you surrendered your life to to me (Savior) and I (God) will mold you into a suitable helpmate for my servant (a man of God)... REALLY LORD!! 

These four revelations really had me 'wowed'.. It's like everything I thought I knew about relationship and marriage was null. Then I kept hearing about Proverbs 31 woman and Titus 2 Woman and I am like this is too much for me to deal with. Marriage is 'big people' thing!  With the divorce rate at fifty percent, I certainly don't want that be a part of the statistics. But then the Lord spoke peace into my heart and reminded me when I lean on Him, trust Him and seek Him wholeheartedly, He will prepare me to be a Godly Woman to partner in righteousness with a Godly Man that He (God) wants to be my husband. 

It can be a bit annoying everybody keep asking about me not dating but truly I am not thinking about it. I genuinely left that desire to God and will allow Him to deal with that aspect of my life. I made enough bad choices! 

Matthew 6:33 says 'Seek Him first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL other things will be added.' Honestly, I am really too busy doing God's work and trying to be a godly woman, godly mother and true servant. If God says next year or never for a husband, I am truly comfortable with His plan because it must be for my best interest. 

In the meanwhile, I will continue to encourage you ladies to find your worth. It is in Christ! No man can make you feel as special or complete as a relationship with God makes you feel. 
Please start to pursue purity (in mind, heart and body) that means stop giving up sex before a guy put a ring on it. Matthew 5:8 says 'Blessed are the Pure in Heart for they shall see God' - that means if you are not living a pure life then you won't ever be united with your Creator. 

If we as women do not demand men to step up then they won't. If we provide for them, if we give them sex whenever, if we take on a man's role then he simply won't have any reason to pull up his socks and do better. We need to start demanding our MEN to take their place back in our church, home and society. They (not all but most) obviously  are not self-motivated enough to be better men so we MUST demand it! 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com