My Engagement Story....

It was almost a fairy tale love story.. high school sweetheart, so in love, migrated but came back after 10 years and asked me to marry him, it felt like destiny and fate collided, happy to final settle down, preparing for my wedding and looking forward to migrating and starting a new life .. My happily ever after begun......

Or so I thought! 

My 26th birthday, a week after my breakup with my fiance. I'm sure I looked beautiful on the outside but it was a facade as I was tearing up on the inside!

It really seemed like the perfect love story but I was writing it and not God. I was a Christian and he wasn't but that was okay because 'not enough men inside the church so I could take my husband to church and convert him' that was my reasoning. He said he love and believe in God and he will even come to church with me so another reason why I could marry him. He was a great guy, he loved me since I was 14 years old and I knew him very well so I thought it was logically because I saw so many other women doing it...

This relationship came the 'right time', I have been living a lukewarm Christian life for so long but I started to get convicted and wanted to live right. So if I could stop fornicate and stop party then I could truly live for God because those were my biggest temptations. If I got married then I would be 'legal' to have sex plus he wasn't the party type so I knew I would eventually have to stop so it was the perfect plan... again it wasn't God's plan. 

So I went in to speak to my Pastor about it even as I prayed daily about it. Although I loved my fiance, I also loved God and I really wanted to please God also. My meeting with Pastor didn't go too well, he reminded me about 2 Corinthians 6:24 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?". I knew the verse but after talking to many other Christians they shared that unequally yoked meant if the person didn't "believe" in God or if they were a muslim or other religion but God really couldn't expect us to not date non-Christians because enough men just not in church (this was my green light). I respected my Pastor though so even though I didn't end my engagement; I continue praying and I spoke to my fiance about my concerns so we decided that we wouldn't have sex until we got married so 'bingo' of course he was the ONE. I mean how many non-Christian men would stop hold out on sex until marriage? 

BUT I NEVER STOPPED PRAYING .. Part of me still wasn't at full peace that I should go ahead with the wedding. Of course I loved him and he really loved me but a little part of me felt like God wasn't pleased. So I fasted and prayed... Fasted and prayed for many months. 

Then one day I said 'Lord, if this is not your will then you take him out of my life, I don't have the strength or courage to do it so let him leave.' While I was praying this prayer waiting on him to come to Jamaica (it was a long distance relationship), we continue the wedding plans. In my mind, I knew that he loved me so much that there was no way he would call off the wedding so if this happen it must be GOD. 

Well, to cut a long story short.. BUT GOD... Yep! God showed up and he walked away. Technically, he had no clue what he was doing because he just couldn't explain why he wanted to. In his head, he was just a bit angry so he just needed a breather from me for 1 day but for me .. it was GOD!! Once he stepped away I didn't look back. 

During that season, the Lord revealed so much to me and this is why I was led to blog about  Unequally Yoked Relationships. 

1) Many times we know the right thing, we know what God's Word says but we search for many loopholes to remain in the situation. The fact is God will never change His mind to please you; there is no other explanation or reasoning to His commands. Similarly, when the Word of God says 'Do not kill' period, not a comma or semi-colon but full stop. His commands about being unequally yoked won't change, no matter the season or modern-era. This thing about "I'm Praying about it" really doesn't make sense either because God will not change His mind.  He is the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow ( Hebrews 13:8).  

2) God gives us free will so in the end whatever we decide to do then the outcome is on our hands. The fact is our choices have consequences and when we willfully disobey God it is a sin and we know sin leads to death (Romans 6:23). This is not just a physical death but also a spiritual death where we are separated from God. 

3) When we step out of the will of God, He cannot protect us. So whatever happens when we don't follow God's commandments then we must accept that we are responsible and stop blaming God. I've seen so many times people get involved in premarital sex and get pregnant have an abortion then many years after they can't have children and they blame God.. really? Or you disobey God catch a disease then you say God gave it to you as punishment.. really? Fact is when we do whatever we want to do then God can no longer protect us from the repercussion. 

4) Remember God's commandments is not to "stop our fun" like God is some dictator that wants us to be lonely and depress for  the rest of our lives. God is a loving God, He is a loving Father who wants the best for His children. His commandments are to protect us not harm us. Even when He says don't have sex before marriage, it is not because He doesn't want us to not enjoy sex because He created it but He wants us to do it in the union of marriage. 

Imagine if we had really followed God's commandments about sex how different our society would have been (less diseases, less unwanted pregnancy, less street boys, less murders, less poverty). 

5) Stop comparing your Christian walk to other people. They are not the standards you should live by, God is the standard and He is the only example we should follow. Do not look at another church sister or brother who is in unequally yoked marriage and draw a conclusion it will work out for you. Fact is, you don't know what is going on in that home. Do not listen to their stories either and figure yours can be similar. Allow God to write your love story! Just like how your Christian walk is personal and unique, God will ensure that your marriage story is personal and unique also. 

Finally, it is not your duty to save anyone. As a matter of fact, you cannot save anyone.. That is why Jesus came to save us and the Holy Spirit convicts and leads us.

We must share the Gospel, we must plant the seed, we must live a life where people would want to know our God and come serve Him too. But do not allow emotions to lead you. Emotions change! Get out of the emotions and think.. Is God please with what I am doing? Am I being led by the Holy Spirit? How will compromising really help the other person to become who God wants them to be? 

Ladies, this is even more serious for you. Because the cases where Christian men get married to non-Christian women are rare but us women are always compromising in the name of loneliness. I do believe God has somebody for you.. Have faith.. Pray and ask Him to lead you... Remember it is easier to push someone off a chair than to pull them on it!! 

God bless you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com 

Modern Idolatry...

As I write this blog, I pray it will be received with love. These are the things that are not talked about in the churches because of fear to insult people but my heart is so burdened, and as the Lord leads I write as He place in my heart. 

We have read so many stories of the Israelites and how they worshiped false idols even as God shows Himself so faithful to them over and over. Many scoff because we are not making 'golden calf" and literally bowing down before physical idols. But a modern form of idolatry is now plaguing us and if we don't identify them, many of us will be caught in a form of godliness and denying God's power (2 Tim 3:5). 

When I post, I always want to take the speck out of my eye first before I even consider addressing anyone about their actions. At the end of August 2014, just before I went on my three (3) months social media fast. I kept finding excuses why I shouldn't but God said I had to so there was no excuse that could change His mind but it was hard. But I remember a friend said to me, "Crystal your phone is your idol".. Like what? .. How dare you say that? .. He said anything that you spend more time with than God is an idol. Honestly, I was offended.. How could He say that.. Who could love their phone more than God? But He was right. 

Since then, I keep praying that the Lord will reveal all the idols in my life, because I don't ever want anything or anyone to come before God in my life. I'm not sure if I knew what I was praying for...because now, I feel so embarrassed even as a Christian there were so many idols in my life. 

Some of these idols included:

a) Friendship - I had some of my friends on a pedestal to the point that even when I know God wanted me to stop partying and stuff I couldn't because I was fearful that I would lose them if I did. 

b) Education - Growing up I always felt that my only way out of poverty was through education so I worked super hard to achieve all the necessary qualifications. This is not a bad thing normally, except when you doing all of this to appear successful in the eyes of the world. 

c) Relationship - I needed a boyfriend, seriously I felt I just always needed to be in a relationship for whatever reason and of course none of these relationships were good for me because they all were contrary to the God's Word. 

d) Outer Appearance - Brazilian Hair, shortest outfits, whatever makes me look in the mirror and feel good about myself  but even more what got the most attention, what pictures got the most likes was what I needed etc. 

Honestly, my worth was tied up into ALL these things... What my friends thought of me? Why don't they want to be my friends anymore? Was I looking beautiful enough? Was I pleasing my boyfriend? Was I making 'my boo' happy? Do I look better than my boyfriend other girlfriend? Was I spinning heads in the dance (sessions) or clubs? What other qualifications can I get to go higher in the company? 

I was a hot mess.. And I don't mean before I was a Christian, I mean even while I was saved!! 

Fact is, we have now created an idol of SELF! The world have become so materialistic which build our egos through acquiring more and more 'stuff'. Some people must change their cell phones at every new version, buy bigger homes, newer model cars, most expensive hair, clothes and shoes.. All because of covetousness and to gain admiration of the world. It is Satan's trap to keep our focus on ourselves and not on God, so we are busy with careers, jobs, seeking higher accolades and relationships. All these things that will have no eternal value because after we die they're no use to us (see Ecclesiastes 2:21-23). 

I know so many women who wants to give their lives to God but won't because they don't want to lose their boyfriends or baby fathers. I know so many young men and ladies who wants to have a relationship with God but they are afraid to lose the friends they have, they don't want to stop partying or give up sex or drugs. Everybody wants to 'clean up' their lives first. 

Girl, you have made this guy your god! You are doing everything you can to try please him but he is still cheating, still disrespecting you and won't marry you because "he's not ready or he can't afford it yet". Sis, God loves you so much and He is so jealous of you. 

I know how it feels to be afraid to let go, when I got saved I had to choose a 8 years relationship (that was going nowhere) or choose God who loves me even before I was in my mother's womb. But I knew I needed a Savior, I knew the life I was living I was heading straight to hell! You know you need Jesus to rescue you, to save you, to love you .. what this man is offering is temporary my darling. Jesus is offering you eternity... I beg you to choose Him today!! 

Believer, God is calling you to be Holy! That means you are called to be set-apart from the world. God said clearly you cannot say love Him and love the world at the same time (1 John 2:15). So that means, you should not be in that unequally yoked relationship, you cannot be in the club Saturday night and church choir on Sunday, it means you cannot be dressing half-naked because you are trying to fit in, it means you can't be so consumed about studying for your next exam that you don't even pray anymore. 

People pleasing is idolatry.. Peer pressure is idolatry..Your child can become your idol.. Your husband or wife can become your idol.. Your career, car, family, cellphone or Ipad can become your idol... Our hearts and minds must be centered on God. Jesus said the greatest commandments is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and mind" (Matthew 22;37). 

When we love the Lord and trying to obey His commands, there will be no room in our hearts for idolatry. 

So, repent..confess..seek forgiveness... God still loves you so much! He is waiting with open arms for you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com