Faith vs Fantasy: My Pinky Promise Experience 2015

Three weeks before the Pinky Promise Conference in June 2015, I found myself asking how do you know when you are stepping out in faith or you wishing on fantasy? 

I felt a bit disappointed because I've been wanting to go to this conference for over a year and I had no plane ticket, no hotel fee and no spending money.. all I had was a 'faith' conference ticket that I stepped out and purchased a month before as I trusted God to provide over USD$1,000 for my other expenses. 

Fantasy??? 

To back track a bit, Pinky Promise is a promise to honor God with your LIFE no matter what, whether married, single, divorced, engaged or widowed. This movement was founded by Heather Lindsey and have over 300 groups world wide. Now the conference is held annually, where women across the world come together for four (4) days of worship, fellowship and life-changing Word. When I came across Heather's blog in early 2014, she changed my Christian walk entirely; her transparency, authenticity and conviction bombarded and challenged to me to become a true woman after God's heart. I started praying since then to make it at the next conference in 2015. 

As the time approaches, it seemed like I would make it because I got offered a free plane ticket and I found some roommates through the Pinky Promise website; but with a month to go the plane ticket plans fell through the cracks and I was confused if I would make it. I didn't give up though, I started to ask everyone I knew to pray for me because deep in my heart I felt I would still be able to attend the conference. I tried to not get anxious though and continue praying....

GOD IS SOO FAITHFUL

Then one day I sent a prayer request message to a young lady I followed on Instagram and told her about my plane ticket dilemma. She responded and ask how much I could find and told me to send the money to her and she will purchase the plane ticket for me ... Shock was an understatement... Even though I've never met this young lady, I knew that it was GOD who sent her. I had less than USD$100 and the ticket was almost USD$500; same day I got a called from a very close friend who said I was on her mind so she wanted to know what's going on with me. I shared with her and without hesitation, she said come see me and gave me USD$200 (just like that)!! So I sent the money I had to the young lady abroad and within two days I got an email that my ticket was booked..  God is soo faithful! 

With the ticket out of the way, I was sure that God wanted me there and I knew this would be another life-changing experience and testimony for me. Two days before my flight to leave to Atlanta, I still had no hotel money, no food money and no spending money but I had FAITH-- if God opened a door for me to go, you best believe I am going... 

I continue asking for prayers and continue praying myself, the day before I left I got two phone calls. A friend from primary school said she coming by my office (I had no clue why), when she came she handed me USD$100 and said 'have a wonderful trip'.. huh .. what? ohh WOW.....  Another friend told me to stop by her office and gave me an envelop with USD$60. By now, I was in total awe... God is soo faithful! 

It just got real!! Atlanta here I come.... 

At the Airport heading to Miami then Atlanta 

Excited, overwhelmed, astonished, flabbergasted .... I was just in total fantasy land.. I was actually going to the 3rd Annual PINKY PROMISE CONFERENCE in Atlanta... God is soo faithful! 

Had a great day in Miami as I got to see my friends and family:-)

I had a connecting flight so I spent the day in Miami before I flew to Atlanta. I love Miami (seriously) .. it was good to see my dearest friends and saw my stepdad and little sister. My stepdad fried fish, gave me bread, cake and all kinds of food to take to Atlanta because he knew I didn't have any spending money (yes ..he's great right?). But God wasn't finish with the miracles.. In Miami, I got a call to go to the Western Union from one of my cousins who sent me USD$200 for my hotel.. WOW! Then my friend gave me another USD$50 before I left... I don't know how but all I could do is praise God and worship Him for His awesomeness and super natural provision... like seriously ... WOW!!! (Even writing now, I'm getting goosebumps just reflecting on all the miracles that happened).... God is soo faithful! 

PINKY PROMISE 2015

My friend Phoebe from the Pinky Promise Jamaica met me at the airport and we headed to Atlanta together. We got in very late and my roommates where already settled in..  the next day the experience begun! 

My friend Phoebe and I representing Jamaica 

To blog about every detail of the trip would make this blog longer than it already is, but I am still basking in the presence of the Holy Spirit at that conference. Every single detail and experience was profound, I cried over and over because God is soo faithful! 

My roommates were great.. We all gelled so well like we knew each other forever. I met so many amazing women of God over the five (5) days in Atlanta. These women were so hungry for God, it was just awe-inspiring (you had to be there to understand).. 

My beautiful roommates and I:-)

Thursday was registration, meet and greet then we went to Downtown Atlanta for sightseeing and a shopping (yes I could even shop a little for Christelle .. can you believe it?) In the evening, the conference officially begun with the most astounding and Spirit-filled Worship Experience I've ever had. 

Imagine 2000 women worshiping God in one ballroom... EPIC!!! 

My name tag... yikes!! 

Between Friday to Saturday we had the different workshops such as Marriage Session, Singles Session, Going into Ministry/ Business God's Way, Being a Godly Mother and Modesty. All the workshops were SUPER incredible and informative. (You can email me for notes if you would like).

There were Quiet Time and Zumba in the mornings, all night worship in the ballroom (so anytime during the night you could just go down and talk to God), clothing swap, Couples panel, book signing with Heather Lindsey (screaming .. she posted the photo of me and her on her Instagram and I became a celebrity after lol...).  

Friday night Cornelius preached an amazing sermon called 'Blood on Your Hands' then Saturday night Heather preached on 'The Final Marriage'. Both sermons wrecked me completely. 

Excited to meet Heather Lindsey in person, such a beautiful and humble woman of God... I thank God so much for her obedience! 

I met some really beautiful and god-fearing ladies; we have formed purposeful godly friendships and they push me to Christ and always encouraging and praying for me. For the earlier part, I hung out by myself until Friday evening I finally got to meet my sister from Dominica, Clerol Austrie who I met through social media and immediately we clicked. We chatted up a storm over the two days, prayed and worshiped together (I was so blessed by her wisdom). 

Sunday was the worship service at the Gathering Oasis where Cornelius preached another blessed sermon then the conference was over. 

I'm so glad to have met this woman of God.. Clerol Austrie is truly an inspiration! 

I didn't leave Atlanta until Monday afternoon so I spent the extra day just reflecting on everything that happened over the few days... There were so many questions I went to the conference with and the Lord answered every one. Lord knows I want to be obedient but I don't want to. It gets hard as the flesh struggle with the spirit, as the mind struggle with the heart but I must remember this is never about me. A nation will be impacted by my obedience so I pray that the Lord give me the strength. 

So, I left the conference feeling encouraged, purpose-driven, filled, motivated and charged to do the assignments the Lord has entrusted me with. Honestly, after that experience my life will never be the same!! I'm empowered to be the best mother I can be, contented with my single season even as God prepares me to be a godly wife; I'm driven to start my own business, write books or whatever else dream the Lord has placed on heart but even more I am READY to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ EVERYWHERE and EVERY DAY!

God is sooo faithful!! 

What started out as a fantasy to attend this conference, was made possible through an awesome, all-knowing, all-powerful, all-faithful, all-providing, limitless GOD!! My main lesson from this conference EVEN MY FANTASY IS POSSIBLE IF I STEP OUT IN FAITH AND TRUST GOD!! 

So, I encouraged someone, whatever you think is a fantasy or just a mere dream, put it to GOD. Check your motives to ensure that it's not selfish, seek Him with ALL your might and watch Him blow you away as He did for me and continues to do for me. Whatever He does for me, I guarantee He will do the same for you.. Have some FAITH!! 

Remember: 

Jeremiah 29:11 - God has plans to prosper and never to harm you.

Philippians 4:13 - You can do all things through Christ who gives you the strength. 

Hebrews 11:6 - Without Faith it is impossible to please God. 

Matthew 6:33 - Seek God first and His righteousness and all things will be added. 

Matthew 7:7 - Seek and you shall find, Ask and it shall be given. 

Philippians 2:3 - Do nothing out of selfish ambitions or empty pride, but be humble.

God bless you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions at shachene@gmail.com 

Photos from the Conference 

Fearfully and Wonderfully made:-)

Zumba was great!! 

I'm so proud of this daughter of the King, Terrenique from Nassau

Lord you good and your mercy endures forever! 

Sightseeing in Atlanta!!! 

My Engagement Story....

It was almost a fairy tale love story.. high school sweetheart, so in love, migrated but came back after 10 years and asked me to marry him, it felt like destiny and fate collided, happy to final settle down, preparing for my wedding and looking forward to migrating and starting a new life .. My happily ever after begun......

Or so I thought! 

My 26th birthday, a week after my breakup with my fiance. I'm sure I looked beautiful on the outside but it was a facade as I was tearing up on the inside!

It really seemed like the perfect love story but I was writing it and not God. I was a Christian and he wasn't but that was okay because 'not enough men inside the church so I could take my husband to church and convert him' that was my reasoning. He said he love and believe in God and he will even come to church with me so another reason why I could marry him. He was a great guy, he loved me since I was 14 years old and I knew him very well so I thought it was logically because I saw so many other women doing it...

This relationship came the 'right time', I have been living a lukewarm Christian life for so long but I started to get convicted and wanted to live right. So if I could stop fornicate and stop party then I could truly live for God because those were my biggest temptations. If I got married then I would be 'legal' to have sex plus he wasn't the party type so I knew I would eventually have to stop so it was the perfect plan... again it wasn't God's plan. 

So I went in to speak to my Pastor about it even as I prayed daily about it. Although I loved my fiance, I also loved God and I really wanted to please God also. My meeting with Pastor didn't go too well, he reminded me about 2 Corinthians 6:24 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?". I knew the verse but after talking to many other Christians they shared that unequally yoked meant if the person didn't "believe" in God or if they were a muslim or other religion but God really couldn't expect us to not date non-Christians because enough men just not in church (this was my green light). I respected my Pastor though so even though I didn't end my engagement; I continue praying and I spoke to my fiance about my concerns so we decided that we wouldn't have sex until we got married so 'bingo' of course he was the ONE. I mean how many non-Christian men would stop hold out on sex until marriage? 

BUT I NEVER STOPPED PRAYING .. Part of me still wasn't at full peace that I should go ahead with the wedding. Of course I loved him and he really loved me but a little part of me felt like God wasn't pleased. So I fasted and prayed... Fasted and prayed for many months. 

Then one day I said 'Lord, if this is not your will then you take him out of my life, I don't have the strength or courage to do it so let him leave.' While I was praying this prayer waiting on him to come to Jamaica (it was a long distance relationship), we continue the wedding plans. In my mind, I knew that he loved me so much that there was no way he would call off the wedding so if this happen it must be GOD. 

Well, to cut a long story short.. BUT GOD... Yep! God showed up and he walked away. Technically, he had no clue what he was doing because he just couldn't explain why he wanted to. In his head, he was just a bit angry so he just needed a breather from me for 1 day but for me .. it was GOD!! Once he stepped away I didn't look back. 

During that season, the Lord revealed so much to me and this is why I was led to blog about  Unequally Yoked Relationships. 

1) Many times we know the right thing, we know what God's Word says but we search for many loopholes to remain in the situation. The fact is God will never change His mind to please you; there is no other explanation or reasoning to His commands. Similarly, when the Word of God says 'Do not kill' period, not a comma or semi-colon but full stop. His commands about being unequally yoked won't change, no matter the season or modern-era. This thing about "I'm Praying about it" really doesn't make sense either because God will not change His mind.  He is the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow ( Hebrews 13:8).  

2) God gives us free will so in the end whatever we decide to do then the outcome is on our hands. The fact is our choices have consequences and when we willfully disobey God it is a sin and we know sin leads to death (Romans 6:23). This is not just a physical death but also a spiritual death where we are separated from God. 

3) When we step out of the will of God, He cannot protect us. So whatever happens when we don't follow God's commandments then we must accept that we are responsible and stop blaming God. I've seen so many times people get involved in premarital sex and get pregnant have an abortion then many years after they can't have children and they blame God.. really? Or you disobey God catch a disease then you say God gave it to you as punishment.. really? Fact is when we do whatever we want to do then God can no longer protect us from the repercussion. 

4) Remember God's commandments is not to "stop our fun" like God is some dictator that wants us to be lonely and depress for  the rest of our lives. God is a loving God, He is a loving Father who wants the best for His children. His commandments are to protect us not harm us. Even when He says don't have sex before marriage, it is not because He doesn't want us to not enjoy sex because He created it but He wants us to do it in the union of marriage. 

Imagine if we had really followed God's commandments about sex how different our society would have been (less diseases, less unwanted pregnancy, less street boys, less murders, less poverty). 

5) Stop comparing your Christian walk to other people. They are not the standards you should live by, God is the standard and He is the only example we should follow. Do not look at another church sister or brother who is in unequally yoked marriage and draw a conclusion it will work out for you. Fact is, you don't know what is going on in that home. Do not listen to their stories either and figure yours can be similar. Allow God to write your love story! Just like how your Christian walk is personal and unique, God will ensure that your marriage story is personal and unique also. 

Finally, it is not your duty to save anyone. As a matter of fact, you cannot save anyone.. That is why Jesus came to save us and the Holy Spirit convicts and leads us.

We must share the Gospel, we must plant the seed, we must live a life where people would want to know our God and come serve Him too. But do not allow emotions to lead you. Emotions change! Get out of the emotions and think.. Is God please with what I am doing? Am I being led by the Holy Spirit? How will compromising really help the other person to become who God wants them to be? 

Ladies, this is even more serious for you. Because the cases where Christian men get married to non-Christian women are rare but us women are always compromising in the name of loneliness. I do believe God has somebody for you.. Have faith.. Pray and ask Him to lead you... Remember it is easier to push someone off a chair than to pull them on it!! 

God bless you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com 

Modern Idolatry...

As I write this blog, I pray it will be received with love. These are the things that are not talked about in the churches because of fear to insult people but my heart is so burdened, and as the Lord leads I write as He place in my heart. 

We have read so many stories of the Israelites and how they worshiped false idols even as God shows Himself so faithful to them over and over. Many scoff because we are not making 'golden calf" and literally bowing down before physical idols. But a modern form of idolatry is now plaguing us and if we don't identify them, many of us will be caught in a form of godliness and denying God's power (2 Tim 3:5). 

When I post, I always want to take the speck out of my eye first before I even consider addressing anyone about their actions. At the end of August 2014, just before I went on my three (3) months social media fast. I kept finding excuses why I shouldn't but God said I had to so there was no excuse that could change His mind but it was hard. But I remember a friend said to me, "Crystal your phone is your idol".. Like what? .. How dare you say that? .. He said anything that you spend more time with than God is an idol. Honestly, I was offended.. How could He say that.. Who could love their phone more than God? But He was right. 

Since then, I keep praying that the Lord will reveal all the idols in my life, because I don't ever want anything or anyone to come before God in my life. I'm not sure if I knew what I was praying for...because now, I feel so embarrassed even as a Christian there were so many idols in my life. 

Some of these idols included:

a) Friendship - I had some of my friends on a pedestal to the point that even when I know God wanted me to stop partying and stuff I couldn't because I was fearful that I would lose them if I did. 

b) Education - Growing up I always felt that my only way out of poverty was through education so I worked super hard to achieve all the necessary qualifications. This is not a bad thing normally, except when you doing all of this to appear successful in the eyes of the world. 

c) Relationship - I needed a boyfriend, seriously I felt I just always needed to be in a relationship for whatever reason and of course none of these relationships were good for me because they all were contrary to the God's Word. 

d) Outer Appearance - Brazilian Hair, shortest outfits, whatever makes me look in the mirror and feel good about myself  but even more what got the most attention, what pictures got the most likes was what I needed etc. 

Honestly, my worth was tied up into ALL these things... What my friends thought of me? Why don't they want to be my friends anymore? Was I looking beautiful enough? Was I pleasing my boyfriend? Was I making 'my boo' happy? Do I look better than my boyfriend other girlfriend? Was I spinning heads in the dance (sessions) or clubs? What other qualifications can I get to go higher in the company? 

I was a hot mess.. And I don't mean before I was a Christian, I mean even while I was saved!! 

Fact is, we have now created an idol of SELF! The world have become so materialistic which build our egos through acquiring more and more 'stuff'. Some people must change their cell phones at every new version, buy bigger homes, newer model cars, most expensive hair, clothes and shoes.. All because of covetousness and to gain admiration of the world. It is Satan's trap to keep our focus on ourselves and not on God, so we are busy with careers, jobs, seeking higher accolades and relationships. All these things that will have no eternal value because after we die they're no use to us (see Ecclesiastes 2:21-23). 

I know so many women who wants to give their lives to God but won't because they don't want to lose their boyfriends or baby fathers. I know so many young men and ladies who wants to have a relationship with God but they are afraid to lose the friends they have, they don't want to stop partying or give up sex or drugs. Everybody wants to 'clean up' their lives first. 

Girl, you have made this guy your god! You are doing everything you can to try please him but he is still cheating, still disrespecting you and won't marry you because "he's not ready or he can't afford it yet". Sis, God loves you so much and He is so jealous of you. 

I know how it feels to be afraid to let go, when I got saved I had to choose a 8 years relationship (that was going nowhere) or choose God who loves me even before I was in my mother's womb. But I knew I needed a Savior, I knew the life I was living I was heading straight to hell! You know you need Jesus to rescue you, to save you, to love you .. what this man is offering is temporary my darling. Jesus is offering you eternity... I beg you to choose Him today!! 

Believer, God is calling you to be Holy! That means you are called to be set-apart from the world. God said clearly you cannot say love Him and love the world at the same time (1 John 2:15). So that means, you should not be in that unequally yoked relationship, you cannot be in the club Saturday night and church choir on Sunday, it means you cannot be dressing half-naked because you are trying to fit in, it means you can't be so consumed about studying for your next exam that you don't even pray anymore. 

People pleasing is idolatry.. Peer pressure is idolatry..Your child can become your idol.. Your husband or wife can become your idol.. Your career, car, family, cellphone or Ipad can become your idol... Our hearts and minds must be centered on God. Jesus said the greatest commandments is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and mind" (Matthew 22;37). 

When we love the Lord and trying to obey His commands, there will be no room in our hearts for idolatry. 

So, repent..confess..seek forgiveness... God still loves you so much! He is waiting with open arms for you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com 

Dealing with Rejection (1)

Rejection is something we all face in life. If we think simply about the things that we have 'rejected', it comes down to us perceiving this is not good enough and it's not valuable. This is why when we are rejected it is such a painful experience because it leaves us feeling less valuable and this hurts so much. 

I could make a list of so many circumstances where we have felt rejected, but I won't. As you read this blog, I want you to personalize it. Think about some of the times you have felt your deepest rejection and as you continue reading, I pray you will apply it to your own life so today your healing/restoration process can begin. 

Being rejected causes emotional and spiritual wounds. Some of these includes unforgiveness, jealousy, envy, blaming God, low self-esteem, anger, depression, bitterness, self-hatred, rebellion and revenge. It also affects us physically like increase headaches, disrupts our sleep and can even leads to mental illness (and if you have ever had a broken heart you can relate a bit to these feelings). This tells you how important it is for us to deal with rejection. 

Not dealing with rejection can lead to a life of:

a) Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness

b) Fabricated personalities (being somebody you aren't, in order to be accepted)

c) Fear of confrontation

d) Feeling the need to be overly opinionated and need to always be right

e) Self-pity where a person feels bad for themselves being all alone

f) Increase pride that says, "How dare they reject me!"

g) Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness

h) Fear of correction because you believe everyone is out to get you

i)  Self-rejection (not liking who you are and leads to further self-hate and self-resentment)

j) Constantly seeking approval of family and friends over God 

SIGH... Even as I write this blog, the memories of rejection still hurt and explains why I make some decisions that I've made in the past. 

A life of rejection allows us to live for the approval of others and when we do things to get others to applaud us and the thought of letting people down leads us to say 'yes' to everything. 

So how do we deal with rejection? How do we overcome these feelings of needing others approval? 

1) Accept the rejection - Yes! I said it. Many times we live in denial and try to hide these feelings then they fester into more deep rooted issues. Think about a simple wound, if you don't deal with it and put band aid over it, then it break out into sore which is harder to treat.  Admit that it does hurt and allow time to get over this situation. 

2) Put God in first place -  He's the only one who can ultimately meet all your needs. You will never have all your needs met by any person or group of people. Human love is limited; God's love is unlimited and unconditional. No matter how deep your need is, he can fill it.

3) Reject the Rejection - Rejection is only destructive when we internalize it. Since we cannot control what other people think, we have no control over whether or not people approve of us. We are only in control of our own attitudes and beliefs. If we allow the opinions of others to affect the opinions we have of ourselves, then we are allowing those who hurt us to control our thoughts. If we keep our thoughts focused on how much God loves us, we won’t dwell on the opinions of others.

4) Forgive - If you hold on to the hurt, it will only end up hurting you. When you don’t forgive others, it creates bitterness and anger in you. Forgiveness is not about trusting the person again or forgetting everything that happened. It’s about putting the situation in God’s hands instead of seeking revenge or holding a grudge.

5) Understand that you are made in the image of God - Men and women are God’s most unique works of art, His masterpieces! There is no one more valuable and precious than You (a child of God). We can combat the destructive forces of rejection by understanding our position in Christ. Spend time focusing on who we matter to instead of who we don’t. During painful times in our life, we can triumph if we remember that God is our strength. We do not need the world’s approval, and we will never be able to please everyone. We only need the approval of God. 

I will stop for now, as I allow you to process these five steps to overcoming rejection. Part 2 will be coming soon. But as I end this blog, I want you to say this prayer as I declare that today is the beginning of your restoration. 

Prayer: Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus. Lord Jesus, it is comforting to know that You understand and sympathize with my weaknesses and this excruciating pain of rejection. I ask You to forgive my sins, and I receive Your mercy; I expect Your healing grace to dispel the rejection I am suffering because of the false accusations and demeaning actions of others. Also, forgive me for self-hatred and thinking that I’m less than others. It’s awesome to understand that I’m created in Your image. Everything You make is good. In the face of rejection I am declaring, “The Lord is my Light and my Salvation — whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps. 27:1). You chose me before the foundation of the world and I am accepted by you, my Father. I give you all the glory in the name of Your precious Son, Jesus!

May God bless you my friends. Thank you so much for reading this blog. 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com 

Women need men; Men need women!!

Recently a friend made a  Facebook post that if she was a cake then a relationship (marriage) is the icing. So, a cake is whole by itself but icing adds to it. 

Personally, I get the point of women being whole before getting married and I agree 100%. No woman should go into a relationship looking for a man to complete them. Only person can fill our void is Christ and only Him can make us whole. 

           After many heated debates, research and seeking God, I must admit that woman needs a man; just as man needs a woman. This is so because God designed it this way. 

I am not in full agreement with this analogy because a cake does not need icing; this is just an accessory to make it look better and for some it may enhance the taste. But a man is more than just to make us feel better. Even if it’s just for procreation (having children), a woman needs a man at some point. 

Now, we can debate that 'need' means we cannot do without something but I won't even get into that part. But one definition of need is "very important rather than just desirable". Any argument with the definition, seek the scholars... I am just stating that men are very important than just a desire:-)

What I find interesting though, you never hear men trying to convince themselves or anybody else that they don't need women; but women are always trying to debate how much we don't need men. We have gotten so self-sufficient through our accomplishments that we believe it’s enough to satisfy us. What we fail to truly acknowledge is that the education, career, house or car does not fill the void of the affection that we need. It is understandable though, because we fought so hard to get to this place of independence and equality with men; changing the 'backward' thinking that a woman's role is to be housewife, we would never want to accept that after getting our way through the feminist movement to admit that men do play an important role/fulfill a 'need' in our lives. 

Just want to make it clear... Women and Men are EQUAL because God made us equal; but we are also different. Different does not mean inferior or superior. We are different because we have unique purposes.  (Genesis 2:23 & 5:2, Ephesians 2:10) 

With that said, I am grateful for a renewed mind in Christ that have altered my views of men; and accept that because God created us (male and female) to fulfill each other's needs; then I cannot allow the world's views to distort God's intended design and purpose for us. There is a sense, then, in which we have “inherited” a need for companionship. The need is most ideally fulfilled in the marriage union. As a general rule, in is “not good to be alone” (Gen. 2:18).

We women don't need to be debating that we have a higher purpose than marriage and childbearing. That is a given!! Look in the universities, businesses and even the churches. What we need to stop doing though is flaunt this independence/ self-sufficiency attitude to degrade men and challenge their God-given authority. Of course, we can argue that men needs to do  far better in the society but let us be reminded that we were created to be 'help mate' (Genesis 2:18) and we can argue they need a lot of help. But that is OK.. because we do need them!!! So the quicker we admit this, then the quicker we will 'help' the men to restore our society and fulfill their purpose. 

So, I don't NEED a husband to make me feel good about myself. I don't NEED a husband to make me whole. I don't NEED a husband to make me feel happy. I was created in God's own image and I have dominion over all the earth (Genesis 1:26-27)

But I will accept that I do NEED a husband to establish a nuclear family as God ordained it to be. I do NEED a husband to teach my son (when I do have one) how to be a man. I do NEED a husband to fulfill my sexual desires because sex outside of marriage is a sin (fornication).

This by no means indicates that I must take it on myself to do anything to get a husband. As a Child of God, my Jehovah Jireh (Provider) says He will supply ALL my needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19) and if I seek God's Kingdom and His righteousness, ALL things will be added unto me (Matthew 6:33). So I do trust that He knows what's best for me and I will wait on His timing:-))))

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

Overcoming Inadequacy

It's been a while since I've blogged; there are so many things going on in my life now, I really don't have enough time to write as I usually would. However, all week it has been on my heart to share this experience with you and I really do pray that someone's heart will be blessed by it.

Now, for the past couple of weeks I have been really overwhelmed and emotional. Many times people will see my life on social media and think 'wow she has it all together' or some will see it and draw conclusions like 'she behaves like she is better than others or acts too holy'. I can boldly say that is so not the case. I don't do anything in my life to please anyone or to get attention, and I have never been the person to think that I am better than anyone in anyway at all. Everything I do, I try very hard to do out of pure love, of course this is not always easy but I try daily to ask the Lord to lead me as I try never to offend anyone intentionally. But of course, the enemy does not like this at all so he always tried to attack where it hurts and that led to my recent struggle of 'Overcoming Inadequacy'.

In less than 3 months, I will be hosting a two day “She's Royal Empowerment Conference.” This is something totally new to me. In comparison to hosting workshops with forty people, this is expected to have a minimum of one hundred attendees. Now, the planning part for me is fun and easy but the Lord has placed on my heart to be the keynote speaker on the first night... yikes... so when I got the finally poster with my photo on it, I panicked!! 

I panicked because it started to feel real and I really just felt I was not good enough to do this. "What do I know about speaking? I am not eloquent. I am not popular. I am not a preacher. There are so many other persons I could ask to speak far better than I am. I just can't do this Lord.".

So the normal 'confident' Crystal went into a horrible place:
- The feeling of inadequacy took over in High School when I was nominated as Salutatorian (2nd runner-up to the Valedictorian). I totally rejected the nomination and didn't even consider it because I wasn't good enough. 
- Being a single mother, this feeling always takes over. "Am I being a good mother? Why didn't I choose a better father for my child? Why can't I afford to give her more?" These are constant questions that I am bombarded with.
- I started my Masters but I had to stop because of financial reasons. "Why did God allow me to start and not finish? Why is God not answering my prayers? Why won't He just provide?"
- One of my best friends stopped being my friend, just like that. No explanation, yes we exchange words now and then but they just quit being my friend and I was so hurt. So I asked myself, "What did I do wrong? Am I such a horrible friend? Am I a bad person?"
- Then I found out that my child's father is getting married. "Like really? I am a Christian and I am living a 'good' life, why is he getting married and I can't even find a date?"

The thoughts and questions just kept flooding my mind. I felt rejected. I felt hurt. I felt depressed. I felt INADEQUATE!!! 

I started to write. Then I started to pray. 
I eventually shared it with a friend of mine, how I felt about the speaking part and she encouraged me. I remembered Heather Lindsey did a video on Overcoming Inadequacy and I went on YouTube and listened. Then I PRAYED! 

Then the Lord spoke to me and said 'You are enough".
I've learnt there is always someone smarter, prettier, more eloquent and wealthier than I am. So,when we look at the world, we will always feel inadequate. But if we keep our eyes on the Lord, we will always be reminded that Jesus Christ has made us capable, competent and complete!!

We have to remember that the enemy prowls like a roaring lion seeking who he can devour (1 Peter 5:8) and he is seeking to kill, steal and destroy our future  (John 10:10). The mind is the battlefield. This is where he first seeks to attack and if he can conquer our thoughts then we will easily fall into his trap of deception.
The Word of God says to Renew our minds (Romans 12:2), Fix our eyes on things above (Colossians 3:2) and Focus on pure things (Philippians 4:8) because every temptation, struggle and fall begins with our thoughts.

Honestly, I had to start digging deeper into God's Word and remind myself about His promises. I had to remind myself that nothing I do is about me or for me. I must let go off the 'old person and old way of thinking.' I must get it in my head that everything I do is for God's glory. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME!!
If I seek to please people or myself, then I won't ever feel good enough. I had to stop looking at myself; let go off my past mistakes, my present circumstances, my problems and my inadequacies and cling to GOD. Only God can give me value, worth and purpose. He will provide when I need provision, He will promote when I need promotion and He will supply when I am in lack. I must get to a place of totally contentment and allow the Lord to fill me up, and let 'self' be slain.

So, I write to encourage someone who may be going through that feeling of inadequacy (feeling like you are not good enough). Maybe you are going through a breakup and wondering what you did wrong, maybe you have applied for a job or promotion but you did not get the position, maybe you want to pursue a dream but you don't think you are smart enough, you think don't have enough money or you think you don't have the ability to do it; maybe you are waiting on the Lord to give you a child or husband/wife and you wonder what you are doing wrong why He hasn't blessed you that way yet; maybe you are in a relationship for five years and you still haven't gotten the ring yet... All these feelings bombarding you making you feel rejected, powerless, anxious and overall depressed or causing you to lack self-worth/self-confidence—all of which can be caused by inadequacy.

Today I challenge you to take control of your thoughts, put every negative and doubtful thought under the subjection of Jesus Christ. YOU ARE ENOUGH MY FRIEND!!

You are not enough because you are smart, beautiful, wealthy, confident or educated. You are enough because Jesus' power is within you. He says You can do ALL (not some) through HIM who gives you the strength. God uses our brokenness for His Glory and our Pain for His Purpose.
(See http://chosenvessel15.blogspot.com/2015/01/purpose-behind-my-pain.html)

So spend some time in His Word and remind yourself who you are in Christ. Take your eyes off yourself and PUT your focus on Him. His plans for you are greater (Isaiah 55:8, Proverbs 16:1 & Jeremiah 29:11). 

Remember GOD loves you so much.. He doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called!!!!! 

This song always encourages me...

Ladies, please register for the conference. I promise it will be a life-changing event:-)

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Mother's Day shoot with my princess Christelle:-) 

Hanging with some Ladies of Purpose at recent Women's Retreat! 

I am ENOUGH through Jesus Christ!!! 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com