Friday 9 October 2015

Diary of a Single Woman (Why I desire to be married)

He that finds Crystal finds a 'good' thing:-) 
I've never been the kind of girl that daydreams about her wedding day.. a bit weird but when I pictured wedding (if I do), all I see is the cutest pink shoes walking down in aisle in (lol), otherwise everything else has been blahh!

Maybe something like this... love it!! 

Before I became a Christian, marriage was not a priority of mine. I was too caught up in career, independence and education to slow down my dreams to fit "marriage" in. Even after I got baptized in 2009, if I thought about marriage it was mainly because I wanted 'legal' sex.
Honestly, the idea of cleaning, washing those heavy jeans, putting clean seam in a pants ... really seemed like too much because I am not the most domesticated person. (I blame my parents because they did everything for me lol..)

Then late 2013, I got 'saved' for real (before I was lukewarm); God started renewing my mind (Romans 12:2) regarding many things and marriage is one of them. After being saved for over 22 months, I can confidently say my current reasons for wanting to get married is ONLY GOD!!
But I am glad that I didn't get married before because it really wouldn't have been God's plan for me because I truly didn't understand what marriage is about. You can read my blog about my engagement here My Engagement Story.


Anyway I want to share five (5) reasons why I desire marriage....

1) I am looking forward to being a help-mate (Genesis 2:18). 
Before I would cringe at words "help-mate" or "submission" but I now understand this does not mean I will be my husband domestic 'helper or doormat' even though I will be the keeper of my home (Titus 2:4-5); but the husband God will provide for me, will have a purpose to fulfill and as his wife I am looking forward to using my God-given gifts and talents to HELP this man to achieve his God-given potential. I've learnt that marriage is a ministry, so we would look forward to serving each other and our lives as a couple will glorify God. Both our missions in life will become one that will complement each other and not compete!!


2) I am a single-mother to a beautiful little lady (4 years old) and I must be honest, my second reason for wanting to marry is for her to have a godly-father-figure in her life. 
Single-parenting is really tough! I now understand why God instituted marriage as the way to raise children because Proverbs 22:6 speaks about training a child up in the way of the Lord; and I tell you doing it ALONE is really really challenging. Plus I want to have other children and God's plan for a family is through marriage and having both parents in the household working together to produce godly off-springs.

3) Marriage is important to God, and that makes it important to me! 
As I've observe the society we live in, if we were willing to be obedient to God's plans, our lives would be spared from so much heartaches (diseases, abortions, unwanted children etc). Our society does not promote marriage (common-law relationships are legalized); but the covenant of marriage ordained by God to provide believers with an image of Christ's love and relationship with His Church (His bride - see Ephesians 5:22-23, Revelations 21:2) and as a Christian, I believe marriage will help me to mature more in my Christ-like characters (patience, faithfulness, gentleness etc). 

4) To provide proper sexual union and avoid sexual immoralities
I won't pretend that I am not looking forward to having sexual intercourse again but this time is will be GOD'S WAY!  Many Christians pretend like sex is bad but God created it so it is a beautiful thing; but it should be shared in the context of marriage. Even though it has been almost 2 years since I've been walking in purity and honestly it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. The Word of God says flee from temptation so I purposely avoid certain temptations like dancehall or souls music and certain movies or shows.  The fact is I want to please God more than anything else in this world; so I made the decision to wait until He sends a husband for me to share that experience with him.


5) For a godly male leader to run my home
I added this one very recently because I lived alone for over three (3) years and I have always just loved the fact it was just Christelle and I. But more and more, I understand why God wanted the man to lead his home because as a woman there are just certain things we just don't want to be caring about. Plumbing, fixing, car troubles.. brahhh.. I just hate to be asking other men to be doing these things for me (sorry but it is the truth). Even if my husband can't fix it himself, he would be concerned about these things and then other men won't have to over charge me to service my car or fix things around the household.

Outside of those five reasons, honestly there is just something about a godly man that is simply beautiful. Just the thought of a man loving me as Christ loves the Church gives me the chills (lol).. I mean imagine praying with this man, studying the Word with this man, having to serve him and encouraging him to be the best that God has called him to be.. Come on!! It is more than worth the wait:-) 



So, I share this because I know many ladies desire marriage and don't understand why they have to wait! It is not just about choosing a man and planning a beautiful wedding day but it is far deeper than that. I can tell you true love is only found in Christ; if we don't understand love like describe in 1 Corinthians 13 we will run into serious problems in our marriage. 
It is so important that the man we marry understand this kind of love too and our relationship is not based on lust, emotions, status and great sex! 

As wives, we have to be willing to serve this man and be submissive under his godly leadership; but don't be discouraged because a true man of God will understand his role and serve you too!!



Honestly, I am not in hurry for marriage but I am trusting God to write my love story; but I am proud of the woman I am becoming in Christ because he is truly molding me into a Proverbs 31 woman *skin teeth* 








God bless you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 


Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com 


2 comments:

  1. Looking forward to the day when your hubby finds his good thing. You two will be powerful in the Kingdom together

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