Diary of a Single Woman (Why I desire to be married)

He that finds Crystal finds a 'good' thing:-) 

I've never been the kind of girl that daydreams about her wedding day.. a bit weird but when I pictured wedding (if I do), all I see is the cutest pink shoes walking down in aisle in (lol), otherwise everything else has been blahh!

Maybe something like this... love it!! 

Before I became a Christian, marriage was not a priority of mine. I was too caught up in career, independence and education to slow down my dreams to fit "marriage" in. Even after I got baptized in 2009, if I thought about marriage it was mainly because I wanted 'legal' sex.
Honestly, the idea of cleaning, washing those heavy jeans, putting clean seam in a pants ... really seemed like too much because I am not the most domesticated person. (I blame my parents because they did everything for me lol..)

Then late 2013, I got 'saved' for real (before I was lukewarm); God started renewing my mind (Romans 12:2) regarding many things and marriage is one of them. After being saved for over 22 months, I can confidently say my current reasons for wanting to get married is ONLY GOD!!
But I am glad that I didn't get married before because it really wouldn't have been God's plan for me because I truly didn't understand what marriage is about. You can read my blog about my engagement here My Engagement Story.

Anyway I want to share five (5) reasons why I desire marriage....

1) I am looking forward to being a help-mate (Genesis 2:18). 
Before I would cringe at words "help-mate" or "submission" but I now understand this does not mean I will be my husband domestic 'helper or doormat' even though I will be the keeper of my home (Titus 2:4-5); but the husband God will provide for me, will have a purpose to fulfill and as his wife I am looking forward to using my God-given gifts and talents to HELP this man to achieve his God-given potential. I've learnt that marriage is a ministry, so we would look forward to serving each other and our lives as a couple will glorify God. Both our missions in life will become one that will complement each other and not compete!!

2) I am a single-mother to a beautiful little lady (4 years old) and I must be honest, my second reason for wanting to marry is for her to have a godly-father-figure in her life. 
Single-parenting is really tough! I now understand why God instituted marriage as the way to raise children because Proverbs 22:6 speaks about training a child up in the way of the Lord; and I tell you doing it ALONE is really really challenging. Plus I want to have other children and God's plan for a family is through marriage and having both parents in the household working together to produce godly off-springs.

3) Marriage is important to God, and that makes it important to me! 
As I've observe the society we live in, if we were willing to be obedient to God's plans, our lives would be spared from so much heartaches (diseases, abortions, unwanted children etc). Our society does not promote marriage (common-law relationships are legalized); but the covenant of marriage ordained by God to provide believers with an image of Christ's love and relationship with His Church (His bride - see Ephesians 5:22-23, Revelations 21:2) and as a Christian, I believe marriage will help me to mature more in my Christ-like characters (patience, faithfulness, gentleness etc). 

4) To provide proper sexual union and avoid sexual immoralities
I won't pretend that I am not looking forward to having sexual intercourse again but this time is will be GOD'S WAY!  Many Christians pretend like sex is bad but God created it so it is a beautiful thing; but it should be shared in the context of marriage. Even though it has been almost 2 years since I've been walking in purity and honestly it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. The Word of God says flee from temptation so I purposely avoid certain temptations like dancehall or souls music and certain movies or shows.  The fact is I want to please God more than anything else in this world; so I made the decision to wait until He sends a husband for me to share that experience with him.

5) For a godly male leader to run my home
I added this one very recently because I lived alone for over three (3) years and I have always just loved the fact it was just Christelle and I. But more and more, I understand why God wanted the man to lead his home because as a woman there are just certain things we just don't want to be caring about. Plumbing, fixing, car troubles.. brahhh.. I just hate to be asking other men to be doing these things for me (sorry but it is the truth). Even if my husband can't fix it himself, he would be concerned about these things and then other men won't have to over charge me to service my car or fix things around the household.

Outside of those five reasons, honestly there is just something about a godly man that is simply beautiful. Just the thought of a man loving me as Christ loves the Church gives me the chills (lol).. I mean imagine praying with this man, studying the Word with this man, having to serve him and encouraging him to be the best that God has called him to be.. Come on!! It is more than worth the wait:-) 

So, I share this because I know many ladies desire marriage and don't understand why they have to wait! It is not just about choosing a man and planning a beautiful wedding day but it is far deeper than that. I can tell you true love is only found in Christ; if we don't understand love like describe in 1 Corinthians 13 we will run into serious problems in our marriage. 
It is so important that the man we marry understand this kind of love too and our relationship is not based on lust, emotions, status and great sex! 

As wives, we have to be willing to serve this man and be submissive under his godly leadership; but don't be discouraged because a true man of God will understand his role and serve you too!!

Honestly, I am not in hurry for marriage but I am trusting God to write my love story; but I am proud of the woman I am becoming in Christ because he is truly molding me into a Proverbs 31 woman *skin teeth* 

God bless you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com 

National Christelle Day.. Happy 4th my princess:-)

Happy 4th Birthday Chrissypooh

I can't believe it has really been 4 years that I'm a mom! .. WOW:-) Honestly, it seems like just the other day I found out I was pregnant then I blinked and she's FOUR!!! 
Happy Birthday ma princess Christelle:-))))))

God has really been so good to us and He is so worthy to be praised and exalted because I know there was nothing I could have done to deserve so much blessings and favor. I feel so honored to have been chosen to be this little lady's mother. She has been such a joy to everyone who knows her. Her smile, her demeanor and her love is so infectious!

I didn't chose to blog today to "show-off" about my beautiful daughter; actually as I prayed over her this morning as I normally do, I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and I was reminded that God's grace and mercy is so real and I am simply amazed of the journey that God has been taking me on called motherhood. 

Firstly, I wanted seven (7) children when I was younger (crazy right) yup! There is just something about children that gives life hope and I literally wanted seven (7) hopes aye (lol). Of course, after Christelle that changed .... No, I didn't go through a rough pregnancy and no I didn't go through a tough labour either! I mean I had morning sickness, uncontrollable spitting (eww.. sorry to gross you out) and Oh my .. breastfeeding really arghhhh (that hurt as hell). But outside of that, I think I am very bless to be spared from many horrific stories I've heard about childbearing (God is soo good)!!

I could also go into Single Parenting woes.. But it's my princess' birthday so I will not go into that (but another blog coming soon). I can say though ladies... Please DO NOT choose that route. All that glitters is not gold and I wish more single mothers would encourage young ladies to ensure you share that special journey called parenting with a husband. But as I said.. next time...

Four lessons I've learnt in my four years of motherhood:

1) Children are literally sponges - they soak in everything. As parents we must be careful to not just say but do the right things around our children. 
Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go... ".
You realize it didn't say "TELL" a child, it said 'train'. This means if we are cursing expletives daily but telling the child it's wrong, that won't work. They really do follow everything that you do more than what you say.

2) You cannot be selfish. 
When you have a child, you must become selfless- it literally teaches you that life is more than about you. So many of your own dreams, you will have to re-adjust in order to make the child happy and comfortable. This sometimes challenging but 1 Corinthians 13:4 says Love is not self-seeking.. So your love for your child allows it to become second nature to putting your child first.

3) It really does take a village to raise a child. 
 I am soooo grateful for my family, friends, church members, Christelle's tons of godparents, aunties and uncles. 
I literally could not have gotten to four (4) years 'sane' without them. The support, the kindness, the love, the prayers, the babysitting, the well-wishes.. oh my.. it is simply amazing how important it is to have support. Christelle is growing into such a compassionate, kindhearted and brilliant child. It ain't just because of me seriously! Thank God so much for the wonderful "village" God has blessed us with.

4) Cherish every single moment. 
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says"in everything give thanks.."
As a mother/parent, it is amazing watching our children grow. From baby in diaper, to first tooth, first step, first word, first day at school... It is all because of God's mercies that our day are renewed that we can enjoy these moments. You pray daily and hope you are doing the best you can to grow them up to be the best that God has called them to be. The time flies so quickly that we won't be able to make the decisions for them (I know because I look at my little sweet sister Nioka that I helped raise and she's a little woman now... lol). So we have to cherish every memory, every experience, every moment whether good or bad.


I am so blessed by this little lady, Christelle Rickaylia Garriques, she literally changed my dreams, my plans and my world. This change was ALL for the better. She pushed me straight into the arms of God because I just didn't know how to be a good mother but God has really been teaching me daily. 

I pray you were blessed by this blog.. Say a prayer for me and Christelle as we trod on this journey together. God has been so good to us and I am so grateful....

My encouragement to all mothers and parents.. please ensure you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and your Savior (only Him can teach us to be best parents we can be) and never stop praying over your children (don't talk negative words over their lives either). Remember the enemy is here to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10);  not just you but your children too and only weapon we have is the Word of God and our Abba Father who is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1). 

Love you guys loads...

Photos 

God bless you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions at shachene@gmail.com 

Living with Lupus: Emily Dixon's Story

"I am not my HAIR".. words from an Untitled poem written by the beautiful Mrs. Emily Dixon. As we listened her testimony and poem at the She's Royal Empowerment Conference held in August 2015, most of us were teary-eyed, emotional, blessed and amazingly awed by the strength and courage of a true Royalty. 

Emily Dixon giving her testimony at the She's Royal Empowerment Conference 2015

Firstly, Happy October... Can you believe we only have 2 months remaining in 2015? Am I the only person that thinks this year is literally flying by!! 

Anyway, October is celebrated as Lupus Awareness Month. Early this year, a young lady who was diagnosed with Lupus from my high school Miss Tameka Michelin passed away (may her soul Rest in Peace). During her fight with Lupus, she shared many testimonies on social media and that was when I became fully aware of the Lupus disease. Then I learnt that a young lady I met in 2009, when I was apart of the Miss Kingston & St. Andrew Festival Queen, Mrs. Emily Dixon was diagnosed with the same disease. As I read Emily's blog, I was so awed by her transparency and bravery as she shared her testimony. I eventually invited her to the conference to share the testimony with the other royalties and it was simply awesome and such a blessing and encouragement to all the ladies who attended the conference. 

October is Lupus Awareness Month 

Emily Dixon's Testimony 

In her second year of university, Emily found out she was diagnosed with Lupus. Always an active young lady studying psychology, member of the performing arts group doing singing, dancing and playing cello; of course this came as a shocker about the new lifestyle changes that was about to take place in her life.

Lupus is disease affecting the immune system in that it speeds it up, spreads and attacks the healthier aspects of your body. Symptoms include inflammation, weakness, swelling and damage to the skin, joints, kidney, lungs, heart, and blood.

Four days before her 30th birthday in October, she sat in her bathroom and her husband, Julian, clipped and sheared off every last strand of hair. This happened after months of wearing scarves and wigs when she experienced a 'flare' of symptoms which resulting in her loosing her hair. On her blog, With peace in mind she shares her struggles in details. She also shared that she received an overwhelming support from many that encouraged her to embrace her new bald look. Emily says  that "the scars still show, but I find myself being less and less concerned about them and more concerned with being confident about my baldness."

During the flare up... 

Going bald never looked so beautiful:-)

Emily Dixon, who continues to challenge the odds in living with lupus, through determination, support and sheer positivity. She shared that her family and friends have been a pillar of strength during this time for her and she refuses to allow anyone to throw her a pity party. Emily tries to encourage everyone to truly believe they can achieve their goals and make a contribution to this world, no matter what they look like. Baldness, scars and all.

                We are NOT defined by how we look or by our circumstances!! 

I'm so encouraged and motivated by Emily's testimony; the level of bravery, strength and confidence has truly been inspiring and without a doubt shows she's a true daughter of  the King! My constant prayer is with her and the other Lupus Warriors. These royalties are simply amazing!!! 

Few of  the Lupus Warriors who attended Tameka's funeral 

Two main lessons that I've learnt are God truly gives us enough grace to deal with whatever situation we are going through and we might not be able to control what God allows to happen in our lives but we can control how we respond!! 

    We can truly Live a Royal Reality, if we allow God to guide our path!! 

So this month, instead of complaining find something to give thanks for daily! This month, pray for someone else in your quiet time. This month, smile a little more because God is still good despite our circumstances and He is in control of your life. This month, wear something PURPLE and take a picture to show your support for the Lupus Awareness Month (tag me in the photos too)! 

Scripture Encouragement 

Share Love to someone with Lupus 

God bless you... 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me with questions at shachene@gmail.com