Called to Bible School (Life-changing Year)

I'm sure you have heard of the story of Saul's conversion into the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus. Well if you have not, Paul was a former Christian persecutor was converted into a Gospel preacher. He was heading in one direction but he had an encounter with Jesus Christ and as a result, his direction changed drastically (Acts 9:1-9). My story is similar to this... 

Sunday March 29, 2015 marked another milestone in my life. It was my fifth graduation exercise in my twenty-seven (27) years of life but I still had to fight back the tears because it was another special moment in my life. 

Being a full-time single mother, working full-time, the chairperson for two ministries at church, a MBA (Masters of Business Administration) student, along with the many other projects I manage. This was my life until April of 2014. Nowhere in my busy schedule or my many plans was bible school even in my thoughts. A friend of mine mentioned it but with my numerous activities it just could not fit in. Then I got the 'call'... Yes... I heard clearly the voice of God saying I should register for Portmore Bible Academy. I made excuses, I hesitated but I started to pray about it because the burden to sign up was getting heavy. I knew I had to be obedient so I decided to trust God to help me "juggle" all the things I had going on 

From the first day I stepped into that class, my life had never been the same. Pastor Peter Malcolm (Director, Founder, Facilitator, Shepherd, Mentor, and Confidant) was so warm and welcoming. He taught all the courses with enthusiasm, vigor, confidence and was Spirit-led. Attending bible school changed everything I thought Christianity was about ... My relationship with God grew stronger and my appetite for righteousness got deeper. The woman I was one year ago is definitely not the same woman I am today. 

Pastor Malcolm and I at graduation 

Some of the most life-changing courses for me included Foundation Doctrine, Stewardship, Practical Ministry, Theology of Purpose, Prayer, Praise and Worship, The Beatitudes, Cults and False Teaching and of course Faith (to name a few). Bible school wasn't just about taking notes and learning theoretical knowledge but the Word of God came alive every week that we met. From the testimonies, devotions, praise and worship sessions, presentations, retreat, anointing service and many discussions. Thursdays became my favorite day of the week because I looked forward to being into the presence of God and learning something new. 

When people hear about bible school, they start asking what my title is. I have no intention to become a Pastor, Reverend, Deaconess or anything of that sort. But I had no plan to even enroll in bible school either. I simply desired a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ and the Lord just turned my plans upside down and I just surrendered because His plans are far greater. I had to give up pursuing my MBA to focus on what God wanted me to do and not what I wanted to do. It really was a bit hard at first but the closer I got to God is the more I learned to trust that His ways are higher than mine. 

A lot of people also ask me about accreditation but God's Word cannot be limited to piece of paper and seeking acceptance of worldly standards. What bible school gave me was far deeper than what I could be taught in a regular theological college. Even though Pastor Malcolm was the facilitator, the Holy Spirit was our Teacher; we weren't taught doctrines but the dynamic Word of God was cemented on our hearts. 

What is next? I have no clue... Just like Paul that had no clue what His new journey would be like, so it is with me. I really just don't know... what I do know is, I must be obedient. So, I might be persecuted, abandoned or wrecked but I stand firm knowing that it will ALL be for the GLORY OF GOD!! 

Pictures from my graduation

 Fearfully and wonderful made...............

Deacon Francis, Pastor Bolt and Lady Bolt supporting me at graduation...

 Graduating Class of Portmore Bible Academy 2015

My beautiful daughter Christelle Garriques & I showing lots of love.....

To God be the Glory****

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

Being the Other Woman

The world that we live in glorifies being the 'other woman,' otherwise known as "matey or side chick."  Many of the dancehall songs we listen tell us it is okay, Spice tells us to 'Jim Screechy', Lady Saw tells us 'I've got your man'; and there are many other songs. The movies and TV shows like Scandal teach us how to be 'comfortable' with having a relationship with a married man and how and it's acceptable to 'steal or share' a man.

This is maybe one of the hardest blogs to post because this is never something any woman wants to accept and share; my mistakes, vulnerability and weakness. We women try our very best to appear to have it all together and never show our brokenness. But I am trying to accept that my life is not my own and everything that happened in my past can be used for God's glory and I pray this will minister to the heart of someone. 

I spent seven years being the 'other woman'. I had no issue at all with it. It wasn't a mistake neither was it something I was coerced into do. I chose it and I didn't see anything wrong with it. Of course, no woman expects to stay in that position for so long but I had no expectations. As stated in a previous blog Diary of a Single Woman, men only served two purposes: sex and reproduction. Besides, when I entered the 'situationship' I definitely wasn't ready to reproduce. I was a good 'matey' though- I sent him home when he needed to, I wouldn't call if he was around her and when she did find out that he was messing around, I denied it to make sure he didn't get into trouble (pathetic right.. smh).

When being the 'other woman', many of our friends would glorify it too. I mean how many friends will say that being the 'other woman' is wrong? Besides, even if they do, most times they are doing the same thing too. Again, nothing seemed wrong about it. And that's how life in SIN is like... Everyone in it accepts it. Think about it; fornication is accepted to the world, partying is the norm to the world, dressing half-naked is not wrong because many artistes sing about these things and many movies portray it. But the Word of God says, the road to destruction is so wide! (Matthew 7:13)

What is hidden though is the consequences of these sinful acts and decisions. No one talks about the harsh reality of being a single parent, no picture on facebook shows the many abortions done or the STIs contracted, no one talks about broken homes and heartaches of being betrayed when cheated on or when you party all weekend then can't find fare to go to work the following week. Who sings about these things? Nobody.

Growing up in a society where common-law relationships have gotten legal status, teenage pregnancy rampant and almost acceptable, being a virgin is deemed non-existent, dressing half-naked is a norm and if you are not having sex then you are an outcast; the term 'worth' has gotten a new meaning. Your worth is determined by your level of education, the car you drive, the amount of money in your bank account, your job, your relationship status and this determines if you feel you are accepted by people.

Women can pretend all they want as if they are okay with their men having another woman as long as they are 'wifey'  but it's a Lie! You are not a wife, if he has not put a ring on that finger. All he is doing is playing both you and the other woman. Whether you are a teenage girl or an older woman, if you had any idea how precious you are and how much you are worth to God then you would not be comfortable having sex with a guy who is not committed to you. He says he loves you, but what does that mean exactly? When he verbally abuses you, physically abuses you and even if you think well that doesn't go for me because we live together and he is good to me then what's stopping him from marrying you. And please don't tell me you don't want to marry.. psshh (you can only fool yourself). That man will not commit or marry you because he isn't sure if you are worth it. And if he has another woman it's because you cannot fulfill his desires nor can you make him happy.

ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT!! 

Now, don't think I am any better than you because I am a Christian now and I have decided that I won't have sex until I am married. The difference is, I've learnt over time how much I am worth to Jesus Christ, and if a guy doesn't love God, then he is not capable of loving me. But that's just me. What about you?

- Are you the other woman? If you are, then you are accepting that you are not worth anything but being second. And guess what? You are not even second because when you are the other woman; his job, his car, his children.. everything and everybody comes before you. You are merely there for sexual pleasure only. Once, the sex stops what other purpose do you serve? You may say but Crystal that's all I want to be.. really now? We will say this over and over until we actually start convincing ourselves but deep down you wished that man was yours. And if you are with him just for his money then maybe that man isn't the problem (it could be you). 

- Are you the 'wifey'? He lives at home with you and you take care of his every need, but you have still have not gotten the ring. I am sorry to say this, but that man is just not convinced that you are the one. So, all the promises he is making are just promises which can be broken at any time and when he does leave, you will spend the rest of your life regretting the time you invested in him. 

It's time to know your worth. God loves you so much that He sent His son to die for you, not saying a man should die to be with you but, he must be willing to give up something if you are worth anything to him. Ladies seem to be the ones who are usually compromising. How many single fathers are there? Yes, you have them, but according to the US Census data 82%  are single mothers. Our decision to be the other woman or accept 'wifey' which leads to pregnancy outside of marriage not just affects us when that man moves on, but it affects our children (fatherless) which contributes to so many social issues in our country now (crime, rape, suicide, teenage pregnancy). 

It's time to be wise... Please... We need to start making better decisions and stop allowing men to manipulate us with this love talk, material things and continuous broken promises. 

I said this in my last blog and I will repeat:

I encourage you ladies to find your worth. It is in Christ! No man can make you feel as special or complete as a relationship with God makes you feel. 

If we as women do not demand men to step up, then they won't. If we provide for them, if we give them sex whenever, if we take on a man's role, then he simply won't have any reason to pull up his socks and do better. We need to start demanding our MEN to take their place back in our church, home and society. They (not all but most) obviously  are not self-motivated enough to be better men, so we MUST demand it! 

I don't share this to condemn or judge anybody because, I spent many years doing the same thing. No amount of education, money or titles can teach you worth! I found my worth in Christ and; now that I am a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17), I try not to condemn myself and simply accept that without knowledge our people perish (Hosea 4:6) and since I know better now, I simply feel burden to share, encourage and empower women so we can love ourselves more and make better decisions that will impact our family and our society. Our decisions have consequences. 

If you didn't trod this path of being the "other woman" or "wifey", don't be judgmental either because as women we all face different issues and we must learn to encourage and pray for each other and not criticize and condemn one another. 

God loves you so much... and I do too:-)

To God be the Glory****

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com