Diary of a Single Woman

Went on a date with Jesus:-) 

With Valentines' Day behind us, the constant struggle between single individuals is when they will meet their spouse, get married and live a promising life with their family.  Now, as I  have shared before, I don't talk about relationships because as far as I know I have always been single. Yes I had sex, had a child, been on many (too many) dates, fell in love but I would call all of those things, "situation-ships". 

To be honest, I really was too focused on having a sound education and steady career so paying attention to a real long-term relationship was not priority for me. Furthermore, the concept of an "independent" woman aided in influencing this priority of mine as men only served the purpose for sex and reproduction for me (I was a sad case). Now that you have grasped,  hopefully, a background of my former mind-set, it leads to this blog that the Lord placed on my heart. 

I gave up living a sexual immoral (fornication) life in October of 2013, I started getting convicted many months before but thought it was impossible to let go of this lifestyle. I wasn't brave enough to take the step. But after I researched (spend a lot of time on Google) why I should not have sex before marriage and acquired tips on how to stop fornicating I was convinced that was time to surrender to God's plan for my life. Of course, no one took me serious but I was so sure that, I had enough of that lifestyle and I would much rather wait on God to send me a husband before I crossed that path again. 

Now, when I got baptized I never dated any Christian guys, I mean the ones I knew they weren't  much different from most guys in the world so I was convinced that I could just date a guy then take him church and try change him instead (I would not recommend this at all, but will blog about unequally yoked a next time).

Since I really started walking with God, I have learnt some principles  that I believe I am really led to share with other women. 

Lessons of Being a Godly Woman 

1) I used to think the guys in church and the guys in the world were the same because ALL they wanted was SEX. But I was totally wrong! When I was baptize and was still partying and living a sinful life, no TRUE Christian man would never date me (ouch!). It's true though. I've met men of God over the past year and these men knew what they wanted in a godly wife. They did not want a woman who tried to impress them with education or achievements, but he wants a godly woman who pursues Christ and not out partying, wearing half-naked clothes, gossiping and on social media flaunting. But even in thinking about the worldly men, they will have sex with the girls who choose to show off all their 'assets' but he would not choose her as a wife. He too is looking for the decent girl and sometimes we try compare and say but she is not as "hot" as we are and begin to degrade her but MEN (godly or worldly) wants a woman of class! 

Like seriously, I just love seeing real men of God worship... I mean, there is something about a man who is vulnerable to God. He outshines all of the men in three-piece suits, Nike sneakers or even drive an Audi. (Forgive me, I just had to add that)...

2) Then I come down to how we ladies carry ourselves.. Now, I loved short shorts. I mean I think I have the cutest legs ever plus it's far more comfortable because pants  generally makes me feel hot. Soon after, the Lord told me to give up my party attires and so I began to dress modestly.  I had a picture on my WhatsApp in a dress (I didn't think it was short) but one of my godly male friends said 'why your dress have to short and tight suh".  [For those of you who are not Jamaica, he basically was asking me why my dress was so short]. I was a bit embarrassed because he is someone I truly respect. He further explains that as a man, what they can see on a woman's body they think they can have access to. He reminded me also that I should not be a stumbling block to other men plus I must be cognizant of the fact that I am a woman of God and whether I want to accept it or not, how I dress affects my ministry (Reality check). 

3) Now, before Christianity I wasn't really 'sold' on the whole marriage thing. It just seemed like too much to deal with so I accepted I just want one daughter and possibly adopting children, but I didn't have a 'dream' wedding as normal young ladies would. Being a Christian, my mind has been renewed. I don't get up thinking about husband (as I said I used to being single, I like my own company a little too much) but now I've seen many examples of wonderful Christian couples (not perfect) but it blesses my heart to see a Christian family and it is now a desire of mine. So, my church sisters would say Crystal you need to pray for a godly husband so I started to do that. 
Honestly, GOD put me to shame when I expressed this desire. I say put me to shame because God was like (a) 'Crystal all you know to do is move on when something not going your way, in marriage you can't move on or run away' .... DANG, LORD!! (b) 'Crystal marriage ain't about just having legal sex and having pretty babies, Marriage is a ministry and you must have a purpose!' ....WOII LORD (c) 'Crystal you know you must be submissive right... SAY THAT AGAIN LORD! (d) Being a Godly wife starts long before you say 'I do', it starts when you surrendered your life to to me (Savior) and I (God) will mold you into a suitable helpmate for my servant (a man of God)... REALLY LORD!! 

These four revelations really had me 'wowed'.. It's like everything I thought I knew about relationship and marriage was null. Then I kept hearing about Proverbs 31 woman and Titus 2 Woman and I am like this is too much for me to deal with. Marriage is 'big people' thing!  With the divorce rate at fifty percent, I certainly don't want that be a part of the statistics. But then the Lord spoke peace into my heart and reminded me when I lean on Him, trust Him and seek Him wholeheartedly, He will prepare me to be a Godly Woman to partner in righteousness with a Godly Man that He (God) wants to be my husband. 

It can be a bit annoying everybody keep asking about me not dating but truly I am not thinking about it. I genuinely left that desire to God and will allow Him to deal with that aspect of my life. I made enough bad choices! 

Matthew 6:33 says 'Seek Him first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL other things will be added.' Honestly, I am really too busy doing God's work and trying to be a godly woman, godly mother and true servant. If God says next year or never for a husband, I am truly comfortable with His plan because it must be for my best interest. 

In the meanwhile, I will continue to encourage you ladies to find your worth. It is in Christ! No man can make you feel as special or complete as a relationship with God makes you feel. 
Please start to pursue purity (in mind, heart and body) that means stop giving up sex before a guy put a ring on it. Matthew 5:8 says 'Blessed are the Pure in Heart for they shall see God' - that means if you are not living a pure life then you won't ever be united with your Creator. 

If we as women do not demand men to step up then they won't. If we provide for them, if we give them sex whenever, if we take on a man's role then he simply won't have any reason to pull up his socks and do better. We need to start demanding our MEN to take their place back in our church, home and society. They (not all but most) obviously  are not self-motivated enough to be better men so we MUST demand it! 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com 

We are too SELFISH... We need to REFOCUS!!

A few weeks ago I attended my church's annual Youth Retreat. It has been something I was looking forward to because the Lord showed me that He had work for me to do. The theme was 'Am I Satisfied?' A very timely theme to help us Christians understand where we are in our journey with Christ. It was a blessed weekend but I left very concerned. I am concerned about the youths of this world, because I remember when I was in the world. I had no concern about eternity, I just wanted "successful" life. This means I have a nice husband, car, house, beautiful children, some day get my doctorate and of course a top management position making good money and living comfortable. When I came to Christ, as I said before I got my "free ticket" to heaven so this was even better because I would have achieve all these dreams and have a happy life... Sounds good right? 

Well, for the past couple of days I've been under some real spiritual attacks. I can't sleep at nights! I pray, I read my Bible but I could feel the fear and anxiety spirit in my house and no matter how I tried to cast it out I just still wasn't at peace. So, yesterday morning I went on my knees and started saying Lord, I need your peace. Tell me what's happening!! 

I cried out to God and of course He answered and this is what He wants me to share with you. 

PEOPLE ARE LOST... PEOPLE NEED HELP.... PEOPLE NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many of us, like myself have been so caught up with ourselves and achieving our own dreams and plans that we barely stop to consider anybody else. The Lord showed me my heart last night, yes it's good that I am sharing the Gospel on facebook...Yes its good that I can pray for people.. Yes it's good that I lead ministries but is that really enough? 

It may seem like it's enough to other people but really and truly it's not enough for what I can do for GOD! 

I have been a bit down because I started my MBA last year, stepping out in faith even though I didn't have any funds and prayed and trusted that GOD would have provided the funds for me to complete it. Instead, last August I had to stop going to classes because I could not find the rest of the tuition to complete it. So, no matter how much I prayed the door just seemed shut. I wanted a MBA because I know it would enable me get a better job, then I would be able to change my car to something nicer and provide better for myself and Christelle, so when I stopped it was hard for me to accept. 

But last night, ALL my selfishness came before me. Yes, I was seeking God but on my prayer list I was still praying to God provide for me to finish my MBA, God please help me change my car, Lord while you at it give me a 'nice clean' man of God to be my husband. A lot of my prayers were about me, me and my 'successful' life. So, you are maybe thinking what's wrong with that Crystal? God says we should ask and it shall be given. Nothing is wrong with me wanting things but I was too focus on CRYSTAL! 

WHILE SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE HEADING TO HELL!! 

And I am so busy focusing on temporary things! 

Believers, we are TOO BUSY focusing on ourselves and not doing what is more important to God**

We live in such a broken world... Everyday babies are dying, hundreds of car accidents, people being killed all over the world for choosing Jesus, many are dying of hunger, millions of babies are being aborted, females are forced into drugs and sex trafficking, being raped, people are being murdered, HIV/AIDS rising, more homosexual laws are taking over, no devotions or prayers are allowed in schools... The world is coming to an END but all you care about is watching Scandal, Kim Kardashian, Grammy's, Fifty Shades of Grey and not realizing what you are feeding yourself is leading you to a path of HELL! 

The Word of God says the road to destruction is wide and the road to righteousness is narrow. That means all the things we are so focused on to prove to the world that we living a 'successful' life will ALL be in vain without a real relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Most of us only want God for what He can give us. We want miracles, blessings and favor but we forget about the suffering. We think suffering is not having a car or a job. We think suffering is when our loser boyfriends break up with us or our girlfriends cheat. WE ARE DISTRACTED!! WE ARE LOST!! 

Our days are numbered and this body will die but our soul will live on - either in HELL suffering or Heaven in peace with God. But we behave like we have time to get things right. YOU ARE WRONG! NOW IS THE TIME TO SEEK GOD. 

Believers, many of us will go to church every Sunday and will still go to hell because we weren't living as we ought to. We are too concerned about ourselves. We are concerned about migrating to USA for a 'better life'. We are concerned about how many 'likes' our facebook and instagram photos get. We are concerned that we don't miss the next episode of Scandal, Empire or Being Mary Jane. We are concerned that we find a husband (even if that's not the man God wants for you but your clock is ticking so you want any man that calls himself a Christian). We care about OURSELVES! Even if you post a few statuses about God on facebook it's not enough. We must be on our face daily praying for our friends and family and the World because we need JESUS!! Get on your knees Christians!  

Non-Christians, you keep thinking you have all the time in the world. You are so in love with this man that you want to give your life to the Lord but you don't want to lose him so you choose your boyfriend (that won't ever marry you) for GOD. You see Christians and think we are lame because we are not partying and having sex while you are drinking and "enjoying" your way straight to destruction. Men, you think money, drugs, tattoos and lots of girls are the answers yet even when you drink ten bottles of Hennessy, you are still empty and suffering in silence because you never realized that reaching to the top was so lonely.

Friends... Please open your eyes! God is knocking on your door. He wants to free you from Satan's bondage of lies, deceit and destruction. Accept His gift of Salvation TODAY!! 

You are so precious to HIM.. Jesus died for you even though you reject HIM. He loves you still and He is waiting with wide arms for you to run to HIM. 

Lord, I pray that my main focus will be on your work and not what I want but your righteous and your kingdom; I seek you more than everything else in this life. 

I pray that these words don't fall on deaf ears but you will take heed to this warning. It's not judgmental or condemning thoughts but I am really concerned about you my friend. God is calling you and this could be your last chance. 

To God to be Glory**** 

Crystal 

Feel free to email me: shachene@gmail.com